Friday, October 2, 2015

Haunted Review: Danger Run - By Ash ***SPOILER ALERT!!***


In order to give good honest feedback, some details of Danger Run and it's haunts will be disclosed. No, we will not tell you the names or locations of the haunts. Not even if you beg. Not even if threatened. (Actually, we're kinda freaky, we might like that...)

Okay, so we visited the infamous Danger Run again this year, and the expectations have never been higher. Partially because we've been doing this a while so we like to think we're getting good at the clues. (We're not.) Partially because the price went up this year, and while we understand inflation, that only made us expect more. Partially because Danger Run had two of their OWN haunted houses that are exclusive to Danger Runners, plus a third public haunt that is pretty widely known. (Nope, still not saying which one!) 

It began at Lowes on Hurstbourne. Easy enough. We figured out the first three clues before we left just so we could ensure we wouldn't get lost THAT early. (Somehow we still did.) Michala drove, I rode shotgun solving the clues, and Jennifer was in the back helping us look for whatever the clue indicated. The first two turns we nailed. The third...well, I dunno if the folks that mapped it out miscounted the lights or if they were on something magical that made them see an extra light, but the third clue tripped us up pretty badly. We would find out at the first haunt that we weren't the only ones, but that's neither here nor there. For us it's not about the mileage, it's the fun. After the first frustration, we got going smoothly again. 

That was until we realized how NOT good we are at solving clues. Tree lickers? Omigosh, we literally went EVERY way possible before we realized what the clue meant. Of course, once we realized it we felt like morons. OH! And don't be rash...oh for the love of Halloween, do NOT be rash. You will mess up BAD. Lol! Let's just sum it up to we got lost multiple times, we suck at limericks, and Danger Run is very good at being very confusing. 

One super cool thing that I have to mention here is that if you tweet to Danger Run while you're doing the run (preferably NOT the driver...MICHALA!!!), they will live tweet with you. And send you horrifying pictures that make you almost need a diaper in the car...

So we get to the first haunt, and thanks to Twitter we already know clowns are involved. (I should also note here that not everyone will visit the haunts in the same order!!) And I'm literally trying to muster up the courage to brave the clowns. The line was practically nonexistent, so we basically handed the lady our tickets and walked in. 

Now, you know clowns are involved, so let me just dwell on the whiteout tunnel for a moment. Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to see a friggin clown coming at you when the only thing you can see is white? There were these strob-y lights in a totally white tunnel-like...I'm sorry guys, I just don't have words for these things. It was a damn nightmare. There was no way to mentally prep for anything because you could literally see nothing until it was too late and the clown made you his victim. There were frights all around, and although there weren't many actors, I personally felt like this did not take away from the fright. We were rushing to get out. Our hearts were pounding, our adrenaline was raging, our fear was at times almost paralytic, and there were even a few giggles along the way. I mean, they were short-lived, but they existed if only for the briefest of moments.

After facing down one of my fears, we sped into the night in search of the second haunt. Me being the impatient one that I am, I skipped ahead to the last clue just to see what it said, and my heart froze. But we'll come back to that...

There we were climbing higher and higher, going around curves that literally made me gripping for the "Oh Sh*t Handle" for dear life. Not kidding. I also happen to not like twisty, windy roads, so I was scared stupid. Then we found out why we shouldn't be rash as we were following another set of Danger Runners who clearly didn't figure out the clue right! Hopefully they're not still lost out there. We still made a few mistakes and one clue was a little iffy as to whether or not it was our fault or theirs, but we still found the way to the second haunt despite the frustrations and confusion!

So. The second haunt. Have you ever heard of arachnophobia? Yeah. BIG TIME arachnophobe here!! The minute I read there would be spiders, I about lost it. When we pulled up there was a bit of a line (we believe it was either a shift change or break) and it did nothing to ease my nerves. Once the line started moving we inched closer and closer to what I could only assume would be my final moments and final breaths. Then Michala had the cute idea to start tickling my arms and neck like bugs were crawling on me. That was a bad idea, cause I jerked, slapped her hand away, and it flew back into Jennifer's face. So if you see her with a black eye, it was Michala's fault!

Lucky me, I was first to enter the haunt. Only a few paces inside and I clawed my way to the back of the line. I can't even describe the haunt, guys. I can't. Not because it was bad - it was AMAZING. But I can't describe it because I was so incomprehensibly terrified that for the duration of our time in this second haunt, I was literally blinded by fear, and all I can recall is the overwhelming number of spiders EVERYWHERE. And a couple of actors that I buzzed past. OH! And the mack daddy of spiders that even made Michala say, "I can't. I just CAN'T!" To which I responded with, "JUST F***ING GO!!" We were practically running out of the haunt, laughing at ourselves and trying to get the images that would be the source of nightmares and lots of sudden ninja moves for the following few days out of our memories. I can't speak for the others, but I personally can't shake the image of those horrific little bastards. I'm not too proud of this, but I was crying the whole way through. I almost couldn't make it through the haunt.

Yeesh! My skin is twitching just remembering those ugly demonic things!

By the time we got out of the spider haunt, we were cutting it close on time, so we just drove straight to the next haunt rather than follow the clues. (Sorry Danger Run, your clues were too good and we took too long to figure them out!) We can't say which haunt they chose, but they chose pretty well for the Finale Haunt. In past years it hasn't been my favorite but it definitely wasn't the worst. This year I was far more pleased with the experience!

As for the run itself, I give it a 8 out of 10, only because I think some of the clues were just a BIT too challenging and/or had potential errors.

For the first haunt, I give 9/10. I have to, I really wanted some more clowns and I simply cannot score it the same as the second haunt.

The second haunt I give 10/10. The fear induced with so little actor interaction was incomparable. I have literally only been this afraid one other time, and that was when Michala had to drag me out of the haunt because I was curled in a ball crying. This was pretty freaking close to that! Actually, it might be the most truly afraid I've ever been. No. It truly was the most afraid I've ever been. I can say with absolute certainty I will never go through that haunt again. I love you, Danger Run, but you have scarred me for life.

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