Saturday, October 12, 2013

Heading to The Haunted Hotel!

So excited to be going out to s haunt again!! Tonight we're taking on The Haunted Hotel, and we'll post our review later this evening (in theory, though admittedly, it might not go live till someone tomorrow, lol)!! We have high expectations this year based on last year's visit, so we're super psyched!! Stay tuned and we'll let you know what we thought!!

Friday, October 4, 2013

We're Sorry!!

Hey folks! I'm sorry we've been kinda quiet lately, after this weekend, insanity hit. Poor Aly hurt her arm a while back and it's gotten worse so she's having a helluva time with it, and I fell ill Sunday night. It was bad enough to land me in the ER Wednesday early morning, and they put me on some new meds for my stomach issues. Unfortunately, the side effects are nearly as problematic as the stomach pain. Drowsiness is their term, I call it knock-me-the-eff-out-for-twelve-hours. Dizziness, dry mouth, and my favorite-headaches. I have to take pain medicine for the headaches caused by the medicine for my stomach pain. Wtf?! Ugh, so yeah, we can't do a haunt this weekend, I'm so sorry guys! We'll definitely be back at it next weekend, and have plans to visit at least the Haunted Hotel next weekend.. Thanks for the patience and understanding, and we can't wait to get back in the saddle with more haunted reviews!!

<3 -n-="" aly="" ash="" p="">

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Haunted Review - 7th Street Haunt

Okay, it's no big secret that I'm a fan of this haunt. This being only their second year in operation, they are back and quickly becoming one of the most talked about haunts in the area. Well, at least in the circles I run in, but I'm willing to bet it's pretty popular with the normal folks of the world too.

I was able to meet with Travis Boling, owner of the haunt and nightmare expert. We had a lot of fun and he let me in on a few secrets planned for next year that no doubt with bring this haunt to even higher levels of terror. A lot of focus this year was on building the haunt out, and now that they have the layout and design in place, next comes more props and perhaps an exterior facelift? The work that's gone into the haunt so far has really been such a drastic change that I didn't even recognize it! Travis admitted they only took a couple of weeks off at the end of last year's haunting season before beginning the tedious work that goes into remodeling and rebuilding the nightmares. This, my friends, is a haunt that has no limits and moving at warp speed to become one of the most loved and feared haunts in Louisville. We had so much fun, I only wish I'd woken with a voice and without a sore throat. Or the alcohol-free hangover from too much fun.

So without further ado...

Ashley's Take

The Set Design

Okay, this is the first haunt where I've actually had to stop and run my fingers over the walls and the decorations (kids, don't try this, I was soon attacked by the walls and it's STRONGLY warned that you don't touch the walls or the actors or anything else! Don't make him press the red button!!) The only downfall here was the video in the beginning. Both Aly and I are hard of hearing, and we had no clue what was happening in the video. Then again, it was loud with other haunted house sounds all around us and turning it up much louder probably would have been distracting to other parts of the haunt. Still, it wasn't a major distraction, we just told the soldier we couldn't hear it and he explained it. I have a feeling we missed out on the plot of the dangerous zone we were about to walk into, but I don't feel like I missed out on much. Everything was meticulously done up and the detail to each room and scene was intricate. The rooms and scenes had a great flow and transition, too, making everything very cohesive and connected. I really dig the design and props this year.

The Props

There were a lot of props in this year's design, and even though owner Travis revealed that next year was going to be a big addition to the props department, I still thought the props this year were very cool. From the lovely dinner table to the exquisite

The Actors

Oh, the actors. These guys got me. The actors are statuesque and completely immobile until they're ready to scare you, and when they do, even if they don't do the "BOO" factor, they are pretty darn scary. A lot of these actors blended into the walls and scenes so well that you didn't know they were there or thought they were props because they were excellent at their job. I have to give massive props to the clown that almost put me into the hospital with a heart attack. I actually threw myself into a corner and screamed my head off. Loudly. And repeatedly. While my "best friend" and family laughed at me. Kudos to the hideously terrifying clown, and thanks SO much for the dreams from last night.

The Scare Factor

Although it did rely heavily on the shock factor, this haunt had a good deal of piss-your-pants fear. (Case in point-the clown.) Sure, a lot of times these actors were stationary and popped out at you, but it wasn't just the fact that they popped out to scare you, it's that they were friggin horrifying. Some of the sounds they made too...they didn't have to pop out and scare you at 7th Street. They just have to sit there and make an unnatural noise that makes your blood run cold. Plus, they built the anticipation of not knowing what was coming and not bombarding you with nonstop BOOs. It was both refreshing and nightmare-inducing. Literally.

The Shock Factor

I've already mentioned it a couple of times, but I have to really say it again, these guys had great timing and were unpredictable. We didn't know which ones were props, which were real people, which were moving, or which were stationary. It kept us guessing and wondering what the hell was coming next. Wonderful mixture of shock and fear.

The Originality

This is one of the very few truly original plots in Louisville, basing the whole haunt on the idea of this long-since forgotten town of Fort Harmony, KY, and the horrific events that took place there. Now, here's where I feel we lost a little because we didn't get the history or background from the video, but it wasn't hard to deduce what happened to Ft. Harmony, for the most part. While we don't know how it happened, the combination of the medical aspect and undead aspect is really truly phenomenal.

Other Factors to Consider

This haunt may only be in its second year, but the genius behind it and powering it are seasoned experts, bringing you to the brink of insanity and terror, and they only keep getting better. The difference between 2012 and 2013 is comparable to the difference between a fruit fly and a Wooly Mammoth. Really, wtf?? It's not the same in any way, except to be terrifying. I'm genuinely impressed with the progress made and was promised next year is going to be even better. I can't wait. (Is it opening weekend 2014 yet??)

Overall Entertainment

Man, just from the moment you get your tickets to the moment you come flying out of the door, there was nonstop enjoyment. You get to look stupid and take a funny picture with props when you get inside, then you get to meet the Mayor, who gives you a little intro and tells you a story before sending you in to meet the army guy. From there, it's a bajillion screams and a lot of fun all the way to the end. All in all, I'd give this haunt a 4.5 Star rating. It's really just been a screaming good time, and we'll definitely be coming back for more!

Now, for Aly's feedback...

Aly's Two Cents

Haunted Review - The Devil's Attic

Whew. I slept in late with a sore throat and exhaustion today. You'll find out why in this and the next review! This time, though, Aly and I brought in 2 extra victims-my baby brother Darren and his girlfriend (aw hell, she's already a sister to me anyway) Justis. And they provided some great insight and a good laugh at their screams. I've found that Justis is petrified of chainsaws. And that, my friends, is friggin' hilarious!

So, first on our night of terror, we hit up The Devil's Attic. First off, though, I gotta give a big thank you to Jason Besemann, who met with me beforehand and let me photograph some of his outside actors for the blog. He's awesome, as are all the employees, so major thanks for your hospitality and kindness!!

These guys were Awesome. Really awesome. And creepy. Lots of creepy.

They really liked Aly and Justis. Poor Darren might have some competition...

Okay, now for the review.

*        *        *        *        *

Ashley's Take:

The Set Design

You know, I don't know if it was the RedBull or what, but the scenery looked really awesome, and a little different from last year. There were some very awesome scenes in here that actually induced fear enough for the four of us to form a chain (with me thrust to the front) to make our way through the maze of rooms adorned with some pretty intricate details. A lot of work goes into this design every year, and not only does it show, it pays off. I really loved the room with the...well, I can't spoil it, but let's just say the Jackal scared the bejeebers out of me.

The Actors

Honestly, I've come to think Louisville has some of the most talented actors and actresses out there. I wasn't let down in any way by the actors, who had me squawking and screaming as they threatened my life. The Devil...kudos for maintaining enough immobility to make me believe you really were a statue this year. And to the Priest and possessed woman who were forced to entertain the same single guy for a ridiculous time-that takes stamina to keep it up at that high of a level for that long.  Many of the actors really did maintain their stillness and hide in the shadows enough to really frighten us. Once again, you impressed me.

The Props

I'm not going to lie on this one. I was so busy screaming my head off that I can barely remember any props. Not that it's a stab at the props, but the only things I can remember are the cricifix the Priest was holding, and the chainsaw. I'm sorry for not remembering everything else, but really, that's a compliment.

The Shock Factor

There were more shocks than I can even number off here. Again, another compliment to both the actors and the designers for making us scream too much to remember. There was a happy balance here, because this haunt doesn't rely solely on the "Boo" factor. There was just the right amount to keep us on our toes and wondering when something else was going to pop up, doing so at just the right moment when we were distracted by the other elements of the haunt.

The Scare Factor

Again, a beautiful balance between shock and actual fear, though I will admit I refused to let go of Aly's hand at one point and she may or may not have lost some circulation for a while. It was definitely creepy and you just get filled with that feeling of dread and impending doom. You really didn't know what to expect walking around from room to room, with the anticipation building for the next horrifying scene.


I hate it when there are a bajillion Jason's and Freddy's, though by now you probably know this. It makes it almost impossible to have movie characters at all without seeming cliche. Thankfully, The Devil's Attic made it happen and they weren't cliche. Older movies like Pumpkinhead and Thirteen Ghosts were strong influences, and Hellraiser, too. If you don't know those movies, fine, you'll figure them out soon. If you DO, then you're awesome and you can appreciate that these characters are done fabulously (as are the others!). But it was original. Sure, there was a chainsaw, and every haunted house from here to eternity will have a chainsaw at some point, typically at the end. But everything about this house from the layout to the costumes to the actors and everything in between was very creative and original.

Other Factors Influencing My Rating

There was an obviously drunk or otherwise uncomprehending man who was either lost from his group or going through alone, and he didn't seem to get the idea that you are supposed to keep moving, not stand there and make the poor actors continue entertaining you after you've gotten your scare. He backed us up and made us lose the scary factor for the last few rooms. It wasn't the haunt's fault. In fact, the reason I mention this is because one of the employees came through and basically ushered him along so he woulnd't keep making us wait. It was really cool of them to get this guy out of our way, and we really REALLY appreciate that!! I only wish there was a minimum inebriation level to enter haunted houses, hehe!

The haunt was way longer this year than it was last year. (Well, in my opinion, it could still very well be the RedBull affecting my perception.) I recall last year it seemed to be about half as long, but this time, it seemed to just keep going, which is awesome. Because nobody wants to wait in line for a ten minute show, even if it's a fabulous ten minute show. This had to be longer. Either that, or it was so scary, it just seemed longer...

Overall Entertainment

This haunt really impressed me. It impressed all of us, really. The fun began as soon as you got inside the haunt and didn't end until you were outside again. It was fun, it was scary, and either I'm being very lenient or everyone is stepping it up this year, I can't find much of anything I didn't like about this haunt. I have to score it at 4.5 Stars. This was truly amazing and I screamed my throat out. Literally. My throat is killing me today and I woke up with half my voice. It was a huge improvement over last year's review, and I'm DYING to see what the coming years bring!!

Let's hear what Aly has to say!

Aly's Two Cents

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Aly and Ashley Make a Decision...Hell Froze Over

We finally decided on which haunts to visit!! Haha, it only took a week. Brace yourselves...are you ready for the big reveal?? Are you sure? Really really truly sure??

I'm sorry, it's late and my brain has checked out...

The haunts we're visiting tomorrow in no particular order are:

The Devil's Attic


7th Street Haunt!!

Woo hoo!! And my brother and his girlfriend are joining us for these haunts, so we have fresh meat to help us rate the haunts. This is gonna be fun. 


Monday, September 23, 2013

Our Next Review Victims...

Damn...174 hits in one day. You guys rock!! No, seriously, thank you. :)

So, we're taking votes on what haunts we should visit next. Could be as early as next weekend, but may have to wait until the weekend after. Cause, ya know...regular bills regrettably take precedence over haunted! So here's the grand list of potential haunts (in no particular order); chime in and tell us where we should go next!! Don't see your favorite haunt? Suggest it!!

  • Haunted Hotel
  • Baxter Avenue Morgue
  • Industrial Nightmare
  • Waverly Hills
  • 7th Street Haunt
  • Devil's Attic
  • Asylum Haunted Scream Park
  • Deatherage Ice House
  • Field of Screams
  • Nightmare Forest
  • Fear Fair (in Indiana)
  • Rails of Death
  • Drive-In of Terror
  • Grim Trails

It's a longish list, but I truly hate to leave anyone out!! Fear Fair is a rather long hike, so I'm hoping like hell if y'all say that one, that it's worth it!! :P

Okay, and....GO!!!

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Haunted Review - Dead End Hotel

Aly and I paid a visit to the brand spanking new Dead End Hotel in Shepherdsville. We were hyped up about this brand spanking new attraction that seems to be brought to you by the creators of Nightmare Forest. Now, I admittedly haven't been to Nightmare Forest in quite some time, but from what I remember, it was a pretty good scare, so I was really excited about this new haunt. [Aly says: I thought Ash was going to pee herself when she realized we were going to the Dead End Hotel. She was PSYCHED!]

Sadly, it didn't live up to its creators reputation.

We arrived and there was far from crowded, so we were hoping for a similar experience as the previous haunt we'd visited. It was located in the same location as a haunt we'd visited several years back, and had sworn to never return to, although back then it was some kind of trail or something. It was not exciting enough to remember.

So, we again kept an open mind, especially after the big surprise from the other haunt. Here's how it went.

The Set Design

This place is called the Dead End Hotel, but calling the layout anything remotely resembling a hotel would be a stretch for any imagination. There was no flow to the haunt, most of the rooms were too dark to see any details, there were, like, three dining rooms and two bar areas, one bathroom, I think there was a bedroom somewhere, but it was very hard to tell, one room was just a guy shoving books off a shelf, it was hard to tell which way we were supposed to go, there were numerous times where I nearly faceplanted because there was no indication of a step up or down from one room to the next, and at the very end, two guys not in any costume or anything were waiting to shine a light down the back steps to exit. This wasn't a hotel, it was a trainwreck.

The Actors

The actors I'll give some credit, because they did honestly try, though some of them needed some extra acting lessons. Two guys actually scared me, one of which popped out and nearly grabbed my ankle when I wasn't expecting it, and one guy popped out of a wall (which I kinda saw coming) but the speed and agility of this guy was phenomenal. He must have been a ninja or Jedi or gymnast...there's no way he should have moved that fast and hopped up on the bar (counter? Table?) in one terrifying leap. He wanted my soul...thankfully Aly told him I didn't have one. I admitted to selling it for chocolate, and climbed the steps.

The Scare Factor

I'm torn here. Yes, we screamed a few times, and that made the haunt a little scarier than the first one, but it was 100% shock value and the "Boo" factor. There was no real fear, partially because the rooms-while being a total mess-were completely predictable. You could see the people getting ready to jump out at you, it was in obvious places and at obvious times, and every single room had a jumper, leaving no time to build anticipation for the next scare. I even started calling out which figures were going to pop out, which ones were dummies, and I wasn't in least bit frightened by anything, just startled a few times. Oh, and I have to point out that when the chainsaw guy chases "victims" out of the haunt and back to the line again, we kinda know where you are, and when the guys upstairs are shining lights down your way, we can totally see you as we head down the steps. There was absolutely zero surprise factor or scare factor with the chainsaw guy. Now, I'm not normally afraid of chainsaws anyway, but Aly gets a little skittish, and we just sauntered out of the gate with the chainsaw guy walking behind us, bored and disappointed.

Overall Entertainment

We stood in line for twenty minutes for a ten minute lackluster performance in a barely used section of the building that didn't elicit any real fear from anyone in our group. The best part about this haunt was the awesome duo we met standing in line that we adopted into our group. The only redeeming quality about this haunt was the effort of some of the actors and a few startles. I took into account it was opening weekend and may need to work out some kinks, but something these guys either failed to realize or undervalued the importance of is that on opening weekend, you need to bring your A-Game. You cannot-I repeat, CANNOT-fake your way through a haunted house or half-ass it. I know of a couple of haunts that in their first year nearly made me piss my pants, so this disappointing haunt has no excuses for why-on opening weekend-they failed to elicit any degree of fear from the victims.

The Score

I honestly feel I'm being generous with my score. I wanted so badly to enjoy this haunt and give it a good score, but if I'm being perfectly honest, I won't return. Ever. This is the second haunt on this property that has failed to be scary, and even if it is part of Danger Run in the future, I will bypass this haunt and complain to Danger Run about their low standards in choosing a haunt. I'll give them this year, because they had no way of knowing how horribly this would suck. But neither I nor Aly will be returning. You're welcome to disagree with me, and I hope you have a better experience than we did, but we give this a 2 star, only for the sake of the actors.

I really and truly hate giving a score this low. But it took ten minutes (maybe even less, it was super quick) and had there been a lengthy wait, this would be a horrible experience. As it stands, it was just a waste of a half hour that we won't repeat, and it kind of makes me leery about visiting Nightmare Forest now. If they're backing things like this, what new lows have they themselves reached? It's sad, really. There was such potential, and they completely missed the target in every possible way. Better luck in the future, Dead End (Not A) Hotel.

Aly's Two Cents

Seriously.  It started with two guys smoking cigarettes leaning against the building at the entrance to the line... classy!  The line wasn't too long.  Both a good and bad sign, but it is Shepherdsville.  Quiet town... While standing in line you can hear how the haunt ends... typical chainsaw "chasing" you... That doesn't scare me anymore... The guy did have a really cool ghillie suit though. And he said thank you when I told him.  I was confused by the progression of rooms though.  And that's a detail I just couldn't get over...  The rooms were crowded and at one point we had no idea where to go.  I had to ask a character throwing books to throw a book in the direction we were supposed to go and that worked.  There were a lot of random steps that weren't marked and Ashley has bad balance as it is... so she almost fell... a lot... very dangerous.  (Really, she falls when sitting down.)  It did turn into a fun game when we tried to point out the characters before they attempted to scare us. It worked in most rooms.  The only two fun rooms were where the guy surprised Ash and then the guy who was like a spider monkey. Kudos to that kid!

Overall, I would probably stay home.  I think it took us longer to drive to Mt. Washington than it took us to get through the haunt.  There's a happy medium between "I'm never getting out of this haunt!" and "Wait, was that it?"  This was not worth money in my opinion.  Two stars only because the two actors scared us and ghillie suit was pretty cool.

Haunted Review - Cobb's Haunt

We went to two haunted houses, and boy, are we flippin tired!!! But we survived (barely) and are here to tell you what we lived through!

The first haunted house Aly and I visited was Cobb's Haunt. Now, a little secret that I didn't let slip to the folks there...we had visited this haunt a couple or three years ago, and we'd sworn we wouldn't come back. We had been very disappointed last time and it was one of the few haunts on the list of places we wouldn't willingly revisit. So when we pulled up and realized where we were, we were initially hesitant, but went in with an open mind. After all, a lot of time had passed.

We were pleasantly surprised.

Now, I won't lie, I woke up with aching muscles that I had long since forgotten that I had. My hips and quads and calves have felt all day as though someone was slicing them open with razor blades. You WILL get a workout!! I swear, I'm a fluffy girl and I'm pretty sure I had a mild heart attack by the time we finally reached the end. Literally, I woke up to take the dog out this morning and rolled back over to wake the hubby up to take him out-I couldn't move. So make sure you stretch and do a quick warm-up before tackling this crazy maze, and pee before you go in!! This place is enormous (though I'm not 100% positive this is all there is to the haunt, the pic just doesn't do it justice at ALL!) and there are no port-o-potties around (but there are really nice restrooms, very clean!).

Set Design

Okay, there's two things about this set design that really stood out to me. First, it's a real friggin maze. I don't think I've ever been in anything quite like this, where no matter what way you turned, it was the wrong way. We kept coming back to the same place and it was frustrating fun, while simultaneously exhausting. It was a bit long, and for those who are good at figuring out mazes or physically fit it probably didn't seem so bad. But I'm neither, and nor is Aly, and apparently neither were the couple we'd gone into the maze with. It took hour? Or close to it. You get your money's worth for the amount of time you spend in there.

The second thing that stood out was that we got our own tour guide, so aptly nicknamed "Horny Man." Hey, he was wearing horns, and our minds have taken up a permanent residence in the gutter. Anyway, Horny Guy kept misleading us on some occasions, and making sure we didn't end up lost in the corn forever. At least...we think he was our tour guide...either that or we really caught his attention and he wanted to play...not really sure which one. But it was definitely fun. This section is 4 stars. [Aly says: I really liked this fact. Horny Man randomly disappeared, came back and had a really good sense of humor. Oh and he was barefoot. He's a cool kid. Even gave me an air high-five since the actors cannot touch you. I really liked having him around.]

Scare Factor

I cannot lie, the scare factor here was relatively low. There were a few times when the actors jumped out of the corn and startled us, and they earned a few screams from us, but altogether the haunt relies on the maze itself to induce fear. The fear of never getting out alive. And for a while, it feels very much like you won't get out. It can get frustrating and exhausting, but it's worth the effort. I wouldn't say I was really terrified, but it was enjoyable. For the Scare Factor I'd have to honestly give it 3 stars.


The actors were few and far between, aside from Horny Man. There was Jackie the Clown...I didn't like him much at all. But then again, I flippin hate clowns. He seemed to like me, one point I had my face buried in Aly's boobs trying to hide from him. Which was nothing less than awkward. There were a few others, hiding in random places within the corn, ready to startle you, and they all stayed in character. Credit is due to these actors, because despite our heckling, sarcasm, and lame jokes, they never once broke character and had the creep-me-out factor going for them. We picked up a few friends who followed us around for a while, but they vanished like magic, reappearing sometimes when we least expected it. Kudos to the actors, especially Horny Man. (Hey, we couldn't have been an easy group to deal with!) I'll give it 4 stars here!

Overall Entertainment

There were a few pluses and a few things that took away from the overall score. It was entertaining, and we had a ton of fun. But the purpose of a haunted attraction is to scare, and while this place has lots of potential, it didn't elicit many real screams from our group. It was startling when actors jumped out, but that's not really fear, it's just catching us off guard. Again, there was a time when I thought the maze was never ending and I was ready to tap out, send up smoke signals, whatever it took to be escorted out of the maze because my legs were SCREAMING and we'd been walking in circles forever. It just wasn't the fear that I was personally hoping for. It was a HUGE improvement over the last visit, and this is no longer on the list of haunts we will never revisit willingly. In fact, I am fairly certain at least one or both of us will return next year. I did have to take into consideration it is opening weekend and there may be a few kinks to work out to get everything just right, and the fact that there was a monsoon the night before so the ground was slippery and difficult to maneuver for all of us. I can't hold that against any haunt, because as much as we'd all love to have that power, nobody can deflect the wrath of Mother Nature. I was very pleased with the vast improvements and entertainment, and I feel like as the haunt season progresses, the final kinks will be worked out. Ya know, timing and such.

The last time we went, I would have scored Cobb's Haunt generously at 1.5 stars. (Sorry guys, cold hard honest truth here.) This time, however, after much deliberation, we scored it at 4 Stars. SO much improvement, and a really entertaining evening! I can't wait to see what else these guys come up with and how their haunt continues to improve and impress.

Thanks to the owners, actors, and everyone who worked hard at designing and creating this attraction, then bringing it to life despite the crap weather we've been having.

Aly's Two Cents

Other than my bestie hiding in my boobies, I was really surprised by Cobb's Haunt (nothing surprises me when it comes to Ashley).  I wasn't thrilled when we pulled up but... we are open minded people... usually.  So its a long haul down to the maze, I HIGHLY recommend stopping at their very clean restrooms for spell before starting.  And the dog is friendly.  The scariest part for us was Jackie the Clown.  Horny Man kept saying we "woke them."  I had no idea who but then Jackie the Clown appeared and Ashley is TERRIFIED of clowns. I'm not.  So it worked out well.  I got a chuckle while Ashley screamed.  For me, there was more of a "startle" factor.  I don't much care for when the actors stand in front of you and don't let you by and there's not enough room to get around them without falling in the corn or touching them but noooo you can't touch them so you have to stand there and stare at them and it gets all awkward and stuff...  I did like the random child who appeared out of no where. I'm still having nightmares about him!  Oh, and if you go with your friends, make sure to say their name REALLY LOUD.  The actors took the hint and started calling my name... totally creepy.

I think 4 stars is totally appropriate.  The women at the front are awesome and they sell their "wares" from the farm.  Its really neat.  I don't know if the tour guide is a normal part of the haunt... or if we were lucky because it wasn't that busy.  Either way, I recommend this one! They say it takes 25-45 minutes to get through... we apparently were a special case and took our sweet time! Cobb's Haunt has really improved and stepped their game up.  I must say, we were pleasantly surprised.

Haunted Review - Danger Run (No Spoilers!)

It's finally here! The first review of the 2013 Haunted House season!! And as promised, Aly and I reviewed the Danger Run as well as the two haunts we visited. But no worries - we promise not to spoil any fun on this post!! We will be reviewing the haunts separately, so if you DON'T wanna know what two of the haunted attractions of Danger Run are, I strongly urge you to not read the next two reviews!! This one, however, will keep the secret.

First off, I have to say thank you to Danger Run for the opportunity to win free tickets on their Facebook Page. Aly and I were only able to go last night because of them, and they are SO incredibly appreciated!!

Now, on to the review:

The Clues

I will give major props to the designers of this route, the clues were tough and had us missing a turn because it took too long to figure it out, but they weren't unsolvable. I can't attest to the other routes (of which there are TWELVE!!) but ours was very well done. I will forever and always detest the one about "A liar would tell you a liar would say..." but after a few minutes of arguing and rationalizing (which is tough when you're driving along in the dark in the middle of nowhere with the overhead light glaring and obscuring your night vision) we were able to figure it out. We did take a wrong turn (or two...) but all in all, we were pretty proud of ourselves. The clues to the second haunt were a little...lacking. There weren't many clues, and I would hazard to guess it was because there really was no other way to make that long drive and still make it to both haunts in one night. We were even kind of glad for the mental break, being that it was pushing midnight when we got to the last haunt, but we weren't ready to stop solving clues.

The Route

Omigosh, I was impressed. I wasn't aware certain seemingly populated parts of the area even HAD a boondocks, but we were creeping along these narrow ass roads at twelve mph tops, freaking out about what the heck was around the next turn. One part held a pretty terrifying surprise as we damn near took out a couple of cows!!

Yeah. Cows. Hate them. HATE them. They're unnatural to me. Don't get me wrong, I love steak and hamburger and milk and all that, but in living form, they're terrifying to me. And I simply had to take a picture, although the cows had smartly moved off the road by the time I snapped it. Then while trying to get a better picture, I could have sworn I heard the warning that Jason was approaching. You know, "Ch-ch-ch-cah-cah-cah..." Yeah, I panicked, told Aly, "Uh, we need to go. Move. Now." And yanked my arms in the window again, earning me this shot:

Lol, yeah, I was that freaked. Then, of course, was the bridge. I had to share this one, because I'm not normally scared of bridges, but this one...we were a little worried that we'd be going for a swim or something was gonna crawl out of that water and get us. Yes, it was that scary. [Aly says: I don't think she is explaining this well enough... it was terrifying.  Children of the corn and possessed cows staring at us. TER-I-FYING!! Seriously the best routes they've ever done. They worked really hard to find the scariest roads in the area. Kudos!]

The picture doesn't even do it justice. We had to use the bathroom when we got to the first haunt...

Now, I have to score it. Really, the only thing  that pulled this experience down was the incredibly long drive without clues on our way to the second haunt. It was a bit of a drag, and while I'm fairly sure it wasn't the case, it just felt like the second half the designers gave up and said, "Eh, let's just get em there." Again, I'm sure it wasn't really like that, it was just the way it was perceived.

All in all, I'd say 4.5/5 stars, or 9/10 stars. (Why do I score out of 5 then out of 10? For the sake of the haunt workers to get the most accurate feedback. They read these too!!)

Danger Run really delivered this year, and when we visit again (hopefully soon!) I'm sure we won't be disappointed. Well done, Danger Run!! We had a blast! :)

The Score

Now, in all fairness, we DID review the two haunts on the Run, so you've been warned that the next two posts are SPOILER ALERTS!! Don't get mad at me if you don't heed my warnings and the veil of uncertainty is lifted prematurely!!!

Aly's Two Cents

I'm not going to lie... the Danger Run is what I look forward to every year.  Not necessarily the haunts... but getting in a car with Ashley and having no idea where we are going or how to get there.  No matter what, WE make it fun.  However... this year... it was different.  We really had fun! This was the first year we were scared ON THE RUN! (But seriously, how couldn't you be scared when cows are contemplating eating your brain? I really think that's what they were doing.)  The team went through a lot of work this year finding awesome roads that were scary (much like they were promising on their Facebook page, if you stalk them like I do).

Ashley is always our navigator (which is scary) and I always drive (safety first).  Most times, we get lost, roughly.... a thousand times. I am not sure if we are starting to understand their lingo, if we are getting smarter or it was just more obvious this year, but we only got lost three times. I think it made it more fun as well. Ashley and I didn't feel like killing each other when we got to the haunts and I didn't even threaten to make her walk the rest of the way (not even once!).

I totally agree with the 4.5 star rating on this one. And... since there are FOUR haunts this year on TWELVE routes, I think we will have to go again. The guys at the starting gates are really cool and you can even start from your house this year (I think we need to try that...). I definitely recommend this!!

Saturday, September 21, 2013

No haunted reviews just yet...

So, an unfortunate weather catastrophe and am illness prevented us from taking Danger Run (or any other haunted houses) last night. So we're gonna try again tonight, and hopefully the weather is friendlier and the illness is gone! Stupid monsoon in September...hehe. But on a good note, it's football season!! :)

I'll be back tonight to let y'all know what to expect. See ya soon!

Friday, September 20, 2013

In the Immortal Words of R.L. Stine...

Readers beware, you're in for a scare!!

If you read Goosebumps as a kid, your childhood was awesome.

That being said, today is opening night for the vast majority of the haunts in the Louisville Area. HELL YEAH!!! It's finally here, we've only been waiting eleven months for it!! Woo hoo!!  **Does happy dance** Gah, I'm so excited, I can barely contain myself!!

Aly and I are headed out tonight to kick off the haunting season with a little Danger and a little Run. Considering this is the only kind of running this fluffy girl is gonna do (aside from that awkward attempt to run away from scary people in the haunts) still takes place in a car, you guessed it...DANGER RUN!!

We love the Run. Really. We get so flippin confused and lost, and we NEVER get close to the right mileage, but I'll be damned if we don't have the time of our lives doing it! We're starting tonight and good lord willin' we'll finish it tonight too. I can't WAIT to see what haunts are on the run this year. In case you missed an earlier post, there's a couple new things about the run this year.

1. You can start from your own driveway. That's pretty cool! They have the ability to customize your clues to navigate you to the first haunt from your driveway. Granted, I'm willing to wager that at some point it's going to take you by the closest Lowe's starting gate anyway, but still, an excellent option. We're not taking advantage of that one this time around, because we scored free tickets from their Freebie Friday's, so for the sake of convenience we're going to the starting gate. Like them on Facebook and watch out for Freebie Friday's for your chance to win free tickets too-they give them away every Friday through the last weekend of operation!!

2. There are FOUR (yes, that's right, FOUR) haunts on two separate trips. Each time you go on the Run you still only visit two haunts, but you can go on the run twice and hit up four haunts (or go ten times and experience so many different possibilities for getting lost and seeing some spooky stuffs!!) which is a really epic change! I will be going twice to get the full effect of the newly improved Run this year.

So, yeah, pretty awesomeness. I really can't wait, we're heading to the Hurstbourne Lowe's starting gate at around seven (I know, it won't be fully dark, and that's a little bit of a bummer, but we can't be out till 2am tonight. Stupid real life always seems to get in the way...but we're still psyched. I should have a review of Danger Run up on the blog by noon tomorrow, and SPOILER ALERT!!!! I will be reviewing the haunts on the Run separately, however they will be immediately after the Danger Run review. So, if you don't want to know what the haunts are, I recommend NOT reading the two haunted reviews until after you've gone on the Run. As much as I want everyone to read all my reviews, having no clue where you're going is a really big chunk of the fun of Danger Run.

If you've never been on the Run before and you're curious what it's like, head on over to and take the virtual Test Drive. Solve the clues, figure out which way to go, and get scared online before heading out to do it in your car!!

Looking forward to getting the sh*t scared out of us tonight, and hoping for a wonderful start to the haunted season!! Pleasant nightmares, my friends.

Monday, September 9, 2013

What's Happening on Friday the Thirteenth?

It's so close...can you smell the fear??

With Friday the 13th sneaking up on us, I'm debating on attending the Slenderman contest at Asylum Haunted Scream Park, but I have a bum knee that might make running away from this guy in the woods at night with only a flashlight prove much more harmful than fun. But I wanna do SOMETHING. I mean, Friday the 13th doesn't happen every month, ya! It's opening week for some haunts, with most of them opening next week or later. 

What should I do this weekend to get the Halloween season started off right??

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Join the Reviewing Team!!

Do you love haunted houses? Do you live in Louisville or one of the surrounding areas? Wanna review haunted attractions this Halloween season?

Sweet!! We are looking for a new reviewer or two-or even a small group of friends that wanna do some reviews-to join us this Halloween season. And yes, to us, Halloween IS a season; it's the only one that really matters!

For the 2013 season, we wanna have a lot of reviews, and I have the horrible feeling that Aly and I can't do them all without going completely and utterly broke. We promise not to make you go broke either, but hey, if you're already planning on going to a haunt, why not review it and help others, right? We recently posted a list of haunts we're interested in visiting (time permitting), but if you know of a haunt or two worth visiting or wanna help us knock off some of the ones on this list, we could use your help.

I should start by saying neither Ashley or Aly get paid to review houses, so this isn't a job, it's just a great team to be a part of while helping others and getting the sh*t scared out of you. Some haunted attractions DO sometimes offer free tickets or discounted tickets to review groups, so be aware, there are sometimes perks to being a part of a review team! It's not a guarantee, and you should expect to pay admission for every haunt you visit, but I know some places will-on occasion-hook up a review group.

I sometimes get in touch with the haunts ahead of time to let them know we'll be coming. (But why, Ashley, isn't that cheating?) Not really, no. Because sometimes, when you're working a hundred hours a week then go to your second job, you might just run out of steam, and your work get a little lower quality than the other 13 days in a row that you've worked. But if someone comes along and mentions that the boss is in town and you could be reviewed or judged or evaluated, you perk up really quick, because you want your boss to know that you DO work hard. You don't wanna be caught examining the backs of your eyelids because you just pulled a double shift and are running on pure adrenaline. Sometimes, you fall behind, your quality isn't perfect, and in a job scenario, this can get you fired. or at the very least get you in trouble. It's not an accurate representation of your talents. So in respect for those actors who are working their second jobs and still meeting their commitments at home and at their primary jobs, I like to mention that the boss (review group) is coming, so they CAN show me what a good job they do. Would it be nice if everyone had so much adrenaline and energy in them all the time that they can put on a perfect show with every 6-person group that comes through the doors for both of their nights off for several weeks? Yeah. But we're human, and despite their makeup and costumes, the actors are human too, and they deserve to have proper representation of their hard work. Granted, even with a heads up, there are some haunts that suck. I've been to them, and I won't go back. (Not mentioning names here, so don't ask.) Those haunts can and will receive a poor review if they don't meet our expectations.

Now, as a reviewer, what is expected of you? Not that much, I promise.

We request that you visit at least a couple of haunted attractions in and around the Louisville area. I don't wanna stray too far away, since the blog is "Locally" Louisville, lol. I mentioned before we won't make you go broke, so please don't think I'm going to force you to take seven of the most expensive haunts and visit them in a 5 week period. That's not fair to you, and I just am not that mean. Aly might be...nah, even she's not that mean. *Ow, Aly just hit me.*

When you visit the haunts, we ask that you rate it on BOTH a 5 star and a 10 star scale. I know that sounds redundant, but a 3/5 might be a 6/10 or a 7/10. Maybe even a 4/10. The difference between a 4 and a 7 is huge. We also ask that you rate it on shock value vs actual scare, props, set design and use of space (a large space can feel too empty and a small space can just not deliver on the scares), costumes, value for the money spent, uniqueness, and overall entertainment of the haunt. It's not like a secret shopper where you have to time how long it takes to get scared or get your tickets or stand in line...just have fun, let us know a few key factors, judge the haunt, and write a review. Mine are in-depth, yours don't have to be quite so long.

So, if you're interested, click "Contact Me" and let me know!!

Happy haunting!!

Monday, July 22, 2013

Can You Feel It? It's Almost Here...

Are you ready for the 2013 haunting season? We sure as heck are! Although it's only the end of July, with a month and a half to go, we're already plotting what terrifying scares we'll be taking on, and we'll be starting early (like, say, opening weekend!) to get as many reviews in as early as possible. Check out some of the haunts we're considering!

Danger Run

Last year, we didn't get to complete Danger Run. Why? Because one of the haunts was so overly packed that we waited in line for over 2 hours, during which we only moved MAYBE halfway through the line, before bailing. We were disappointed, but never fear, we WILL be returning this year, both for Danger Run and the haunt we missed out on. This is the ONLY haunt that I can say that we WILL visit without a shadow of a doubt. A couple of groovy new highlights about this years run:

  • Buy online, and start from your driveway. How this works with mileage I'm not sure, but I'm supposing you have to input your address, it calculates the mileage to the first clue, then adds that into the final total mileage you should get. But I don't know, so don't hold me to it! Plus, the online ticket saves ya a buck. I like to save money. 
  • You get to go to two haunted houses with your ticket, but there are multiple courses that take you to DIFFERENT haunts! That's right, you can go on the run twice, and visit FOUR haunted houses. Holy monkey tails, that is amazing. You better believe that I'll be going to all of them! Meaning I have to hit Danger Run pretty darn early this year to avoid going to the same haunts twice!

Darkness Falls on Asylum/Asylum Scream Park

Now, I remember one particular part of this haunt requiring a physical ability that my surgically repaired knees may or may not be able to handle-at least in Darkness Falls. But there are three different attractions here plus the weird circus thing that's just flat out cool. You honestly think we won't be going here? I wanna see the zombies, damn it!

7th Street Haunt

Returning for its second year in its new home, I know the folks running this one, and I've been promised more scares than last year. And coming from these guys, that's code for "bring a change of drawers, you'll shit yourself." I recall last year nearly having a heart attack from the clown room, and ended up going the wrong way, bypassing half the haunt to get away from them. Damn clowns. Plus, I've heard rumors of some sort of live animals. I've been promised I won't die, though I think that was said with that sarcastic and maniacal laugh that tells me I'm so totally gonna die in there...

Baxter Avenue Morgue

I had such fun last year, and met the PR folks who gave me a little history, a little personal take, and a lot of screams. I can't make a judgment call on it yet, but I don't think I'll be let down this year either. I'm really looking forward to it.

Waverly Hills Sanatorium

Now, I used to go here every year, and I burned myself out on it. I haven't been in...woooooo, several years! So I'm really eager to see what they do with it nowadays. I'm especially hoping they have the morgue opened up again like they did one year we went. Man, that place is so rich with history...and ghosts...

The Devil's Attic

I hadn't been to The Devil's Attic before last year, though I'd heard of it. I swear, I really enjoyed it last year, and I follow on Facebook, and I have high expectations for this year. Which is both good and bad; good because I am really eager to go, bad, because now these guys and gals have to outperform themselves from last year. That could be a chore!

Industrial Nightmare/Industrial Terrorplex

Oh, how much I loved this place last year! They were actually the very first haunted house I ever visited in 2002, and I hadn't returned until 2012. Which I JUST realized means I have only visited twice, and the visits were a decade apart. (Man, getting old sucks.) I'm not a chainsaw freak out person, and I laugh my ass off at them usually. But I remember getting a little nervous about one part last year, and I'm hoping for an even better experience this year.

The Haunted Hotel

In all the years I've spent in Louisville, last year was the first time I'd been to The Haunted Hotel. What the HELL was I thinking? I know the folks last year gave us a great scare, and the elevator dude was creepy as hell, and...oh yeah, I'm eager about this one too.

Nightmare Forest/Trails of Terror

I haven't been to this one in a while either, but I remember it being a whole lot of fun. Of course, it was shortly after high school, so that meant I was pretty drunk and everything was fun. But in particular, I recall riding the Willy Wonka "boat" and damn near losing my mind. Man, I hope these guys deliver now like they did back then!!

Rails of Death

I'm willing to give this one another shot. We tried it last year, and it was a washout-literally, it rained, and we weren't aware it was an outdoor haunt. Like, I get it, rails...railroad tracks...but I've seen stranger things than to have an indoor haunt named after an outdoor detail. I was a little pissy last year, so I hope like hell these guys give off a superb show.

Drive-In of Terror

Now, I don't know if I'm actually gonna go to this one...time and availability will dictate whether or not I get to go (the same goes for a few others), but IF it still goes on, a scary movie and a haunted attraction at the Georgetown Drive-In sounds like a hella good time. We'll see how it goes, but I love scary movies, and I love haunted houses, so it could be a winner!

Deathrage Ice House

Okay, I haven't been here, but Aly and I have mentioned going a time or two. It's on the list, but don't hold your breath. Do you SEE what kind of schedule we have? We are going to be BROKE by the time Halloween gets here. Sorry kids, no candy this! But yeah, it's a big maybe. No offense to the folks at Deathrage!

13 Fears

While I don't even know if this one is still in operation, it's supposedly in Shepherdsville but I read somewhere they were relocating. Their website is down, but if anyone has any info on this haunt, feel free to pass it along to me. If it's operational and worth it, I may just have to find time to squeeze this one in!


Now, this one is in Lexington, but it's gotten good reviews and it looks pretty cool. Plus, it has a good price, $25 for 3 haunts, 2 sideshows, and a carnival-like midway. I don't know how I can make room in the schedule for this one, but if y'all tell me it's good I may have to bump another one and replace it with this one. Any thoughts??

So, that's the list. It's a long one, and I need to narrow it down. Since we're doing these reviews for you, how about giving me some insight as to what YOU would like us to review? I don't wanna just pick my favorites or pick randomly and miss the one or two you want to know about!

And haunted house owners, if your haunt isn't listed but you'd like a review, hit me up! I'm open to new haunts and always up for a good scare. 

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Farewell to The Ugly Lamp Contest!!

Been incredibly busy this week, so I haven't had the opportunity to really get out of my house. But I heard some sad news today. One of my favorite restaurants (and a staple of the Highlands) closed down today. 

Lynn's Paradise Cafe was my first real introduction to the Highlands. My husband took me there because it's the place he shared with his late father, and I was honored to be the one he carried on that tradition with. It was the restaurant we took our friends to that were new to or unfamiliar with the area. It was the host of the Ugly Lamp Contest every year. The food was great, the service was wonderful, and the worst thing I could say about it was that they were so popular, there was often a lengthy wait. But that's only because they're good. It was quirky, retro, weird, and encompassed everything that defines the Highlands. 

Lynn's Paradise Cafe was-in my own personal opinion-a great restaurant that was fun, with a great atmosphere, and a place I really enjoyed visiting. It's really a shame that so much controversy and drama has occurred in recent weeks, which are rumored to have caused the owner to suddenly and surprisingly shut down the restaurant instead of addressing the issues and making them right. I'm not defending one side or the other because I wasn't there (except to eat) and I don't know what happened in the inner workings of the restaurant, but I think it's a shame that this whole fiasco had to happen. From what I've read online, the new policies that were established on 1/2/13 were against the law and unrealistic, and it seems someone didn't think the policies through before implementing them. On the flip side, now 85 more people are unemployed, and we've lost an iconic restaurant. I think this is a perfect example of a situation in which there are no winners.

I wish nothing but the best to the employees who regrettably lost their jobs today and since the new policies took effect. To the owner of Lynn's, I hope you find a way to re-establish yourself and do it the right way. 

RIP Lynn's Paradise Cafe...

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Review: Baby D's Bagels and Deli you smell that? It's the smell of the first official review of 2013 here at Locally Louisville! Today's review is of a local restaurant that I'd never even heard of until today, as I was searching the wonderful world wide web for something new to try nearby. I stumbled across Baby D's Bagels and Deli. Well, with a name like that, how could I resist?

My husband and I ventured the 3 or 4 blocks to the restaurant, and while parking is limited (hey, it's the Highlands, I'll give them credit that they at least had metered parking!) it's not the worst I've ever seen. We pulled in, and saw a sign poking out from the top of the building declaring it Baby D's. 

At first glance, this hole in the wall restaurant seems like it's a run down old record shop, situated next to a strange music place and a nail salon. But don't let the outside fool you, there's more than meets the eye in this cozy little deli. When you walk inside, take note of the thin metal chairs and the 50's style bar stools, the weird decoration, the colors, the tile on the walls...take it all in. This is the quintessential Highlands shop that you would expect to find in the heart of this neighborhood. 

We walked in, and were greeted by a nice, though somewhat bored looking employee, who was actually pretty helpful. She handed us smaller, hand-held menus, and we scanned the expansive menu. Man, these guys had a bajillion sandwiches made out of various meats and veggies. There is a sandwich to meet everyone's tastes! Andy decided on the Pitino and I had the Hedburg Club (hold the tomato, please!), both on their cheddar cheese bagels. Oh, I almost forgot to mention, their bagel selection is out of this world!

So we sat down, and waited. Someone had come in behind us, and the girl had to wait on him, too. Then a couple more people came in. We weren't in any hurry, and I suppose that was a good thing cause the poor girl was all alone, it seemed, and she had to take all the orders and answer all the questions before she could make our food. We ended up waiting quite a while, but when she brought us our sandwiches, I was incredibly pleased. 

This sucker was bigger than my mouth! (Yeah, laugh it up, but my dentist HATES working on my mouth!) It was freaking good, though. The ingredients seemed fresh, and very flavorful. I'm not usually one to like lettuce, but even the lettuce was fresh and crisp. I was very impressed. Maybe the presentation doesn't look the best cause it's falling apart in the pic above, but that's how much food was piled onto the sandwich. I didn't mind paying $7 or $8 bucks for that much food. They also had some potato salad, which Andy got and he inhaled it. I don't particularly like celery, and there was celery in it, so I wasn't a huge fan. But the one bite I took (despite the celery) was fairly good. I had the dirty chips (hehe) and even those were full of flavor.

Let us not forget the wide selection of drinks. Omigosh. They have everything from beer to Ale 8 to organic Kool-aid. Name it. There's a good chance they carry it. 

Despite being understaffed and the procession of beatnik types coming in and out, this place is truly a hidden treasure of Louisville. I was quite impressed, and this will be a staple for my group from now on. All in all, I'd give it 9/10. This jewel is very, VERY worth the money and it's almost like having a secret. Only it's one I was excited to share with the world!

Monday, January 7, 2013

Taking on Louisville, One Venue at a Time


After an eventful and painful rest of 2012, and my extended hiatus from doing reviews, I decided to not only revamp the blog, but to actually start blogging reviews again. (*GASP!* A blogger actually posting things to her blog? Such nonsense!!) So, just to let everyone know, I'm gonna start blogging again. Why? Cause I flippin can, that's why.

And because we could use a few more people telling us their REAL opinions of places to go (and not to go) rather than someone who gets paid to do it. I'll be doing real reviews, the kind where I sneak pictures and try to be discreet, acting the part of a real customer, because I don't special treatment just because I'm going to review the place. I want to be treated like everyone else, that way I know the experience was real. I hate phony and fake. I want real, and you deserve real. So that's exactly what you're gonna get.

In the next few days (ish) I'll be updating the site's layout, appearance, pages, rating system, the whole kit-n-kaboodle. Plus, later today, you can all look forward to my first review of 2013!! I can't wait, my fingers have been itching to do some reviews, but I have been a little preoccupied. This year will be awesome, and thanks to you all for joining the journey as I take on the city of Louisville.