Sunday, October 1, 2017

Haunted Review - Haunted Hotel by Kay

“Welcome Home.” 
That’s what the concierge promised upon entering the Haunted Hotel. That was spoken ominously right before he led us into the elevator from Hell. Kevin Stich, Owner of Haunted Hotel, as well as all his staff, set the stage for an adventure that gets tweaked and - if you can believe it - perfected with each new season!
Enter the elevator at your own risk! Darkness in your face, but there’s MORE! Shake, rattle, and scream as you witness through aggressive actors who are super scary and totally nerve-wracking fun! It seems like everything is closing in on you. A great lead up to a scary ride through this haunted hotel. (I loved the new twist!)
Be careful. You will likely get touched, poked, prodded, licked, sprayed, and even electrocuted! I screamed so many times! I found myself searching for moments to take a few breaths before having my senses heightened all over again. Things WILL most definitely go boom in the dark! Monsters jump out, follow you, get full on in your face, grab your head, and every little thing is nail-biting intense awesomeness!
Did I mention that this season was absolutely tremendous? The extreme props never let you down. The strobe lights and fog machines force you to stumble and hesitate to take that next step. Because you just KNOW that something is waiting for you. Whether you are the first, middle, or last in your group…there’s something for every single one of you! The engineered scare tactics worked perfectly with the sounds and music building up to the next heart-pounding rush of adrenaline as you scramble to escape each room…wondering what the next one has in store for you. The all original costumes and masks were spectacular. Don’t expect to see anything cliche or on-screen horror crap in the Haunted Hotel.
I appreciated that there were no long walks of silent boring blah that you will sometimes encounter with hauntings. Nope. You won’t find that hear. You’re lucky if you are given enough time in between scenes to catch your breath, wipe your tears, and think “What the hell am I doing here?” Simply enough seconds to build up the anticipation and make sure you have the shirt of the person in front of you clenched in between your shaking fingers.
One memorable character I’d like to call out is Cece. She was both cute and monstrous to the point that I didn’t know if I wanted to cuddle her or kill her…before she could end me. And can I just say…those freaking chainsaws! I learned something during this haunt. If you cover your face, it doesn’t make them go away. No. It only encourages them to give you more. They desire your fear! They will lick it up. And if that’s not enough, they will buddy up with another chainsaw chasing terror. Teaming up against you to drain every bit of your fear and tears. Your worst nightmare is their greatest desire.
Some things were similar to previous seasons; the good things. The scenes that stand the test of time. The changes this season only enhanced the entire experience for me and I would, without a doubt, say that this was the best I’ve encountered compared to previous years. I commend Kevin, his extreme characters, horrific scenery and props, and sinister scaring was truly a remarkable adventure. A lot of hard work goes into creating and making it all work. Showmanship was at 100% throttle. I ran my ass off and screamed a good number of times. It was totally lit.
The theme of Haunted Hotel is every worst possible nightmare one could ever hope to encounter in a grungy, nasty, horror-filled hotel. And this season was one of the best, in my opinion.
5 out of 5 Stars for this multi-award winning haunt!

Haunted Review - Haunted Hotel by Ash

"Welcome home..."

They were the final words our ears heard before traversing the depths of a hellish nightmare filled with horrors and a panic-infused myriad of rooms at the Haunted Hotel.

Okay, so before I go any further, anyone who's been keeping up with us knows that we hit some of the same haunts every year, and the Haunted Hotel is one of them. Needless to say, we're familiar with the haunt, but for those who aren't, here's the skinny: 

  • This is an EXTREME haunt. That word is not used lightly or to be some non-literal interpretation of the word (like the word literally no longer literally means literally - look it up, the English language is getting even more complicated, folks!), but it literally means it is extreme. They will touch you. They will grab you. They will push you to your limits. It's physically demanding, and I say this because not only are there stairs to climb and the occasional step up or down, but you might get pushed and pulled and there's a very real chance you'll be running for your life at least once or twice. You're gonna hear some foul language too, so parents, use your judgment on this, and if your kid is sensitive or perhaps too young to hear some things that might make a sailor blush, maybe wait a year or two before you subject them to the Haunted Hotel.
  • This place is pretty scary. There is a lot of hard work and effort that goes into the haunt every year. The actors are IN YOUR FACE and the scenery might be a little much for some people to handle. I can't stress enough that this place is intense and will make you question your sanity. 

Okay, that being said, here is Ash's review of The Haunted Hotel.

For starters, the outside of the building is already made to creep you out. They have creepers out there mingling with the folks in line, randomly popping up to scare you and sometimes have a good time making you cringe. It does look like a dilapidated building that was once the home of a thriving hotel, so the outside draws you in. Once inside, though, the nightmare begins.

You are greeted by a man who calls you family and welcomes you to your new home. He wants to fix you. If these creations are what's considered being fixed, please leave me broken!!

Each room is fully decked out with what can only be a small fortune's worth of convincing props. Seriously, I have to commend owner Kevin Stich for this, I'm definitely a details kind of person, and he delivers in spades. Definitely check out the toilet, it's awesome. 

I will say, the lovely young lady with what appears to be a lead pipe or metal pole...did you LICK me?! Omigosh, like, ew! I mean, if not, that's cool too, but you are a pretty adventurous person to be licking people, lol! I was genuinely concerned.

The swamp was a lovely addition, as were a lot of the other changes. The combination of lights and smoke/fog were on point, genuinely disorienting us and building that panic of OMG, what's gonna happen next!

There was a lot of focus on the BOO factor, but it was used well in conjunction with gruesome scenes and high-quality actors. They have this odd way of making you feel like your life is actually in danger. I love it. Many kudos to these guys and gals killing it night after night and never letting us down.

Oh, and by the way, great job building suspense. There was just enough down time for you to let your guard down before a new wave of terror took over. 

One last thing, the chainsaw guys. Okay, so, I will admit that walking into this, I kinda had the idea of where they were, and I wasn't really afraid. Mostly. But that's because Kay and Jennifer were terrified, and I almost fell over laughing at them. The chainsaw guys were hardcore killing it on Kay and Jennifer, and it was pure haunted house gold. I couldn't breathe from laughing so hard. 

All in all, it was yet another exquisite performance and job well done by the Haunted Hotel and the cast and crew that made it happen. Five Stars, folks, well done!!

Thursday, September 28, 2017

New Season, New Reviews, New Team apology.

Before anyone thinks I'm reversing any negative reviews, let me stop you there. I don't post reviews as a way to be an ass or because I just don't like you or your haunt because of some unrelated reason. No, my reviews are the accounts of my personal opinions, and I can't change what I experience.

Actually, this apology is to everyone who was counting on me last haunting season. To those amazing haunters working so friggin hard to provide us all with an exquisite fun time of screams and thrills that I never got to visit and review. To those epic fans of the haunts who were waiting on the reviews and insights to their favorite and new favorite haunts. To the haters that follow me just to be hateful - hey, I'm still on your mind, so how is this not a win for me? To the people new to this blog that really got the worst first impression - I really hope I can redeem myself to you.

There really is a legit reason why I couldn't do my reviews last season. I won't bore you with the details, but our family grew by 2 last year and we grossly underestimated how much of our time would be consumed. See, we spent a lot of time working with the schools and therapists, and crisis units and hospitals and...well, we ended up being so busy with everything else that fun and haunted houses simply had to be backburnered until we could get our lives right again. Unfortunately, we're still struggling with this, but I'm Hellbent and determined to at least give it the old college try.

So with that being said, I DO plan to visit haunts this year. Tragically though, Kay can't join me this year. That damn thing called life keeps getting in the way! So I'm working on bringing another partner in crime on board to review with me. I'll keep ya posted on who will be hanging out with us this year as soon as I have an update.

In the meantime, I ask y'all to forgive and forget, and let's start anew this year with some wicked awesome reviews and this year, we'll give out awards to our faves! Maybe there'll be prizes for the followers too. This year, following and hanging out with us might just benefit you! You never know what's gonna happen. So follow the blog, follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Let us know what YOU wanna see, and haunters, please let us know if you want us to come see you this year. It's gonna be a TIGHT schedule, so hit me up soon, because I'm gonna start making rounds this weekend!!