Friday, October 9, 2015

Asylum Haunted Scream Park Review

Asylum Haunted Scream Park review by Michala

Last year the Asylum Haunted Scream Park was one of the first haunts we hit up and I had such a blast that this year I was stoked to go back. I was even texting Ash telling her to hurry up at work, lie to get out, or even tell the truth to leave early. LOL I was pretty excited. Ask her to show you her text will prove how crazy psyched I was to get there this year.
And that is where I left my happy place. Sigh. Where to begin? I suppose I should start at the beginning. We got there right as it was opening so the lines weren't long at all. (Last year, at times, we were waiting up to two hours to get into one of the haunts they offered.)I don't know if that was a good thing, the lines being short, or not. Perhaps it was a foreshadowing of what was to come? Maybe.

We went into the Xterminate Mutant Attack first. This is a haunt in which you have laser guns. The layout was pretty neat this year with multiple levels. That was different from last year so it was good to see some creativity going on. There weren't a whole lot of mutants to attack me though. I'd say no more than twenty. I could be a little off (give or take) on those numbers. It had a maze-like sensation to it and was a bit confusing to me. There were some 'Boo' moments in which the mutants popped out and scared us but for the most part I feel I got the short straw on the whole experience. My 13 yr old son really enjoyed himself and even Ash seemed to really like the attraction. She screamed a lot, got scared on multiple occasions. As for myself, 'shrug'. Not a whole lot of wowing me over.

My scores for this attraction:
Scene                7                                           
Themes:              7
Make-up: & costumes           4
Things that go bump in the night:           5 
Scare Factor:                                           4

Overall Scare Score: 5

Next we went to Darkness Falls on Asylum. This is the nearly one mile trek through the woods. Last year this rocked. This year, it fell flat for me for the most part. Though they had some decent acting, I'll give them that. The church scene was pretty friggin awesome. The trash and slide sucked. I actually twisted my ankle in the heap of trash that was I think was supposed to resemble a ball pit maybe. It just wasn't fun. The ghosts and ghouls that followed me were pretty neat. Still, I don't have a whole lot of good things to say about the haunt as a whole. And there was no big bang ending either. Huge let down.

My scores for this attraction:
Scene                4                                           
Themes:              5
Make-up: & costumes           6
Things that go bump in the night:           6
Scare Factor:                                           5

Overall Scare Score: 5

Zombie City, last year, wasn't exactly the ultimate greatest but it had awesome scenes and themes. I enjoyed the storyline for the most part last year so I had good, well, decent ratings. This year can't say really much good came of my time in this attraction. It was super boring, lame, very little creativity, and the actors weren't all that good. I didn't even see much makeup and costumes that impressed me. The worst part of it was that there were too many technical malfunctions occurring and groups were catching up with each other. The actors, for the most part, just shoved the groups together and pushed us all through too quickly. I could tell some of the actors were frustrated and disappointed as well. I'm really having to reach to find anything good to say about this attraction. The operating room was pretty neat. I'll give them that, I suppose. And again, no big ending. It just ended...with us back in the open. Nada. Deep regretful sigh. Can you hear it?

My scores for this attraction:
Scene                4                                           
Themes:              4
Make-up: & costumes           2
Things that go bump in the night:           1 
Scare Factor:                                           2

Overall Scare Score: 2

Finally, we waited forever for Asylum's newest attraction. The Zombie Hunting theme. OMG. What a friggin waste of my life spent in the line and on the bus. This is a paintball theme attraction. I was concerned about the quantity of paintballs so I was a conservative shooter. And I still ran out way way way way way early. I spent 70% of my time on that bus sitting with an empty gun. Most of those around me were doing the same. I don't know if it was allowed or not but the actors on the bus, the military folk, were offering more paintballs for $5.00. WHAT THE HELL? This was the hugest let down of the entire haunt at Asylum. Just plum awful. I get that I was a guinea pig with this being new and all. Hopefully they can do something HUGE to fix it.

My scores for this attraction:
Scene                2                                        
Themes:              3
Make-up: & costumes           2
Things that go bump in the night:           0 
Scare Factor:                                           0

Overall Scare Score: 1

After it was all said and done, I went to the ticket booth to quietly and professionally let them know what a big disappointment the entire thing had been. I didn't want them to lose business but at the same time I felt they definitely needed to know what sucked and what needed to be fixed. Lamo!. Total Lamo.

Total overall Scare Score: 3

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