Haunted Review - Baxter Ave Morgue (by Ash)

Hiya, folks! So, first let me apologize for my absence and my silence. Between PC issues, migraines, and a lovely head cold/respiratory bug, I've not been myself lately. Not trying to seek pity or make excuses, just reality has been ROUGH lately.

Anyway, I'm kinda back, the PC is kinda working, I can kinda breathe, and my brain hasn't exploded, so I'll call it a win. And I owe you some reviews!! First up is Baxter Avenue Morgue.

Okay, I visited this haunt several years ago (back with Aly) and we absolutely loved it. Suffice it to say that after two or three years, we were excited to revisit. The night we went it was rainy and wet and crappy outside, so naturally the line was short. We only waited about fifteen minutes, but I will say it seemed SO much longer because the ghoulies that normally come around and try to scare the people in line were mostly absent, and the ones present were apathetic. One dude did seem like he'd had a wee bit too much sugar and was mildly entertaining, but he disappeared and we only saw him again from a distance. Some of the ghoulies were standing around talking, which wasn't scary but at least it was something to look at.

We made it to the front of the line and I don't even know how the conversation started but we ended up saying each other's names loudly. Hey, we pay good money to be scared, and when they know your name, it's a little more personal and a little more intimidating! When it was our turn, they called me out first and made me go into this room just inside the door BY MYSELF. I repeat, I was utterly alone with these psychopaths. Let that sink in a moment...

Now, this was awesome. I thought they were doing some little "Hey, your friend went missing, go find her" kind of schpiel. Nope. They were coming at me with friggin needles, talking in the most deranged voices with these eerie accents and turning the lights out on me and overall making me wanna piss my panties. These guys were GOOD. I was ready for a chicken door, but I sucked it up and followed their direction into the haunt. Alone.

Oh. Em. Gee. Have you ever gone through a haunt completely alone?? It's intimidating and I was on the lookout for the chicken doors because I honestly didn't think I'd make it without at least one person holding my hand. I started through, and rounded the corner and then...

Nada. Not one single scare. There were approximately four actors throughout the rest of the haunt, the animatronics were delayed so I had to turn around to see them, the paths weren't marked too well and with no actors to point the way I almost went off the path a time or two. There was one scream and that was when there was a loud burst of air at my feet that I wasn't prepared for. That was IT. I literally went through the remainder of the haunted house waiting for something - ANYTHING - to try to scare me, but then I saw some people goofing off in what looked like a gift shop and I thought I'd finally gone off the path and ended up somewhere I wasn't supposed to be. Nope. Just the end of the line, end of the haunt, please exit through the gift shop (literally), don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!

Wait. It's over? Like, when am I supposed to get scared? Is there some grand finale that's gonna make me cry like a baby?

Nope. Worst experience EVER. The only one of the three of us who got anything was Jennifer, who was the last of us to go through the haunt alone.


Now, here's a bit of a disclaimer. The night we went, apparently 75% of their haunting staff called in. Well, more than that, but I don't do math. The owner came and talked to us after such a devastating performance and explained that normally there are 40-ish actors inside and that night there were about 10. That's a really good way to make the haunt not scary, and out of the owner's control. What was NOT out of the owner's control was a forewarning of what to expect (since we paid good money for nothing) OR just shutting it down for the night. Yeah, he'd have lost some good money, and that would suck for him. But in my humble opinion, getting crappy reviews from review groups (like us) who paid to be scared and got irritated instead is a much worse blow than losing the money for that night. I appreciate his explanation and apology, but the apology came too late and the damage had been done.

I give Baxter Avenue Morgue 3/10 stars. The only salvation was the intro. Had that been lacking in any sort of way, this would probably be my first ever 0 star. It wasn't even mildly entertaining once we left the intro area. In all honesty, I thought about going easy on them because of how many actors called in, but the reality is: if I experienced it, so did someone else, and that makes it not okay.

I'm so disappointed, Baxter Avenue Morgue. You made a bad call and ruined our experience because of it. I thought you were above that. Tsk, tsk...

Review: Gallrein Farms (by Ash)

With Halloween creeping closer (hooray!) the time arrived for our annual family punkin' pickin' day. Every year my family loads up and travels the short drive to Shelbyville to Gallrein Farms to pick out our pumpkins and for some family fun.

This year we noticed a few changes, one that particularly hurt the score and broke my heart. The hayride to the pumpkin patch that is ALWAYS free is a thing of the past. It's always been free to ride to and from the pumpkin patch, then you just pay for your pumpkins by weight. So we show up with my husband, my mother, my sister, and my two brothers. Six people. And they are charging $2 per person to just go TO the pumpkin patch. My math sucks, but I'm pretty sure that's an extra $12 that we weren't planning on paying. The only salvation was the fact they had picked out some of the pumpkins and put them in a field within walking distance so you could go walk and pick UP your pumpkins. They weren't on the vines anymore so it's no longer punkin' pickin' but punkin' pickin' UP. When you put it that way it kind of loses it's charm and draw. I was so disappointed.


Nevertheless, they still had the hay pit, the hay castle, the bales of hay set up for kids to run and jump around on, and the big tunnel for the kiddos to play and run down some of their energy, all for free. Plus a free petting zoo (feed = $) and some paid activities, like a tractor ride, pony rides, bounce houses, and a corn maze. They have a market where you can buy smaller pumpkins and gourds, Indian corn, food/drink, gifts, and other goodies. There is also a tent set up selling food, but the prices are kinda high. Not, like, unreasonable, just higher than I'd like to pay for six people.

So we ended up walking to the small pumpkin patch and thankfully had a really easy time picking out our pumpkins this year. I guess it wasn't terrible that they changed things up, I like the selection. But I prefer the hayride and having to pick the pumpkins off the vines. It makes it more...involved. Personal. Like, "Pikachu, I choose YOU!!" (I totally need to get a fourth pumpkin named Pikachu now...)

So all in all, I give it 8/10 stars. We'll go back. We'll be more prepared, but we'll go back.

***Pictures of our pumpkins Chuck, Larry, and Zelda will be coming soon***

Haunted Hotel Review by Michala

Haunted Hotel Review by Michala Tyann

So this haunt was by far my most favorite last year. It scared the bejeebies out of me. The scenes and themes were spectacular. The makeup and costumes were first rate. The scare factor was off the charts.
Needless to say, they were going to have a hell of a job getting me to like it as much as I did last year. High expectations and all that. It's really hard to one-up yourself when you've hit a homerun.

Asylum Haunted Scream Park Review

Asylum Haunted Scream Park review by Michala

Last year the Asylum Haunted Scream Park was one of the first haunts we hit up and I had such a blast that this year I was stoked to go back. I was even texting Ash telling her to hurry up at work, lie to get out, or even tell the truth to leave early. LOL I was pretty excited. Ask her to show you her text messages...it will prove how crazy psyched I was to get there this year.
 
And that is where I left my happy place. Sigh. Where to begin? I suppose I should start at the beginning. We got there right as it was opening so the lines weren't long at all. (Last year, at times, we were waiting up to two hours to get into one of the haunts they offered.)I don't know if that was a good thing, the lines being short, or not. Perhaps it was a foreshadowing of what was to come? Maybe.

Haunted Review: Haunted Hotel (by Ash)

Okay, I have a lot to say here. So stick it out, I promise to deliver!

 

We have reviewed the Haunted Hotel for years, back when it was me and Aly and now with me and Michala. We've seen a lot of scary shit in this haunt. We've seen the good, the bad, the ugly, we've had good times, we've had bad times, and we've seen a lot happen inside Louisville's longest running haunted house, and every year there are new things to see and new fears explored. Let's breakdown what happened when we checked in...

 

Okay, so if you've even accidentally walked or driven by this haunt in late September through October, you'll see right away that this is a popular haunt and no cost is spared to make it extravagant. There's cop cars, lights flashing, a parking lot with people waving little lighted sticks at you to stop and park even if you don't want to...lol. It's a sight to behold, but when you get closer and actually stand there waiting, it can be intimidating. We KNOW (sort of) what's waiting for us on the other side of the doors. We still get bouncy with nervous anticipation because there's enough mystery and tension building up to the moment you're ushered inside the doors that you can't help but feel the jitters. Well, I can't.

 

This year the first change I noticed was the missing bellhop, and I was sad. That guy...damn. He got me every year. The new guy though had an interesting purpose and it kinda set the tone for the rest of our visit. He is more of a storyteller, being the original owner who's returned to fix what all the other employees "fucked up." Which makes you wonder...where are they, what did they fuck up, and what the hell is waiting beyond that rope you're moving and ushering us to follow you past?

 

Hell was exactly what was waiting for us. We got on the elevator - mind you, we KNOW what's coming. We've played this game before. The door closes and without even hesitating I grab Michala's arm and we hold each other in fearful anticipation of what's gonna happen next. Well, Gustav's incredible acrobatics showed that we can't be prepared for his world. Then his velociraptor-like wail...omigosh, I think I can still hear it! How that guy still has a voice left is beyond me!

Haunted Review: Nightmare Forest (by Ash)

Sorry for the delays in getting reviews up, this girl fell ill then started battling migraines. Still fighting, but I refuse to let another day pass with no reviews! So please excuse any typos or derailed trains of thought.

 

We ended up visiting Nightmare Forest...recently, lol. It was thankfully a well-marked entrance and a creepy road to drive down at night. That set the mood already. We parked and made our way to the ticket booth then through the corn field. I thought that was a nice touch, because it just keeps you in the mood as you meander your way to the line. Upon exiting the corn there was a traveling freak show complete with a couple of tents for stuff to look at. Honestly, we didn't stop, we were on a mission to be scared and we wanted to git r done.

Haunted Review: The Devil's Attic - By Ash

Every so often you come across a haunt that really chills you to the bone, eliciting nightmares for weeks on end - one that makes you not only question reality, but to question your own sanity.

This was not that experience.

Let's just start from the beginning. It was a rainy night, and the line was thankfully covered. The owner graciously upgraded our tickets to speed passes to allow us to bypass the line, which while it earned us a few nasty glares, it was incredibly appreciated considering the weather! We met with the owner and he even let us take a pic with him and his pet rat.

Okay, so we go inside, and having been there before I'm already expecting the first surprise as we approach the Devil, so I lead the way and then stand off to the side waiting for the "boo" moment. Okay, so the Devil? He was an ass. I mean, not that I expect the real Devil would be kindhearted and sweet or anything, but this guy asked me what I was doing hurrying into the room and then told me to go to the back of the line. Um. No. I paid for my ticket, I wanna get scared, I'm not going anywhere. So when I refused and kinda laughed at his efforts, he beckons these two little kids (and I mean, like, the oldest had to be no older than 8) and their family forward, thus putting the three of us in the back anyway. What the hell? I don't look for preferential treatment, but I expect to be scared and I expect to get my money's worth. I don't expect to be told where I get to be in the group, this isn't grade school and if I got there first, I deserve to be in the front.

Haunted Review: Danger Run - By Ash ***SPOILER ALERT!!***

****SPOILER ALERT**** ****SPOILER ALERT**** ****SPOILER ALERT****

In order to give good honest feedback, some details of Danger Run and it's haunts will be disclosed. No, we will not tell you the names or locations of the haunts. Not even if you beg. Not even if threatened. (Actually, we're kinda freaky, we might like that...)

Okay, so we visited the infamous Danger Run again this year, and the expectations have never been higher. Partially because we've been doing this a while so we like to think we're getting good at the clues. (We're not.) Partially because the price went up this year, and while we understand inflation, that only made us expect more. Partially because Danger Run had two of their OWN haunted houses that are exclusive to Danger Runners, plus a third public haunt that is pretty widely known. (Nope, still not saying which one!) 

Baxter Avenue Morgue Review

Baxter Avenue Morgue Review by Michala Tyann

Upon arriving to this haunt, the rain was finally letting up. Lucky us! We got in the very short line-like six people only. We were already a little concerned because there were no outside entertainers. All we saw was, behind us in the dark alley, five or six people standing around. We wondered if it was possibly some actors on a break maybe. Finally we got our first entertainer. A short, thin guy who acted like he had severe mental problems. He wasn’t really suited up to look scary but his acting was kinda on point. I had to wonder if there actually was something wrong with him.

Danger Run Clue-Seeking Fun

Danger Run Review by Michala Tyann

This review does not include the haunts along Danger Run. It simply is me rating my experience with Danger Run, the clue seeking thrill ride.

I will not disclose any locations. I do however, with my other reviews give some themes just because I know that Danger Run offers different routes.

I went into this evening knowing there were a few complaints on the previous nights. Those in charge over Danger Run listened and altered some things to make improvements. I don’t know what those complaints were but I will say, I personally believe that Danger Run proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that they hear us when we tell them our thoughts.

Devil's Attic Review

Devil’s Attic Haunted Attraction Review by Michala Tyann.

Disclaimer: I personally do not enjoy giving negative reviews. I believe there is always a little of good in anything, even from a negative experience. I always share my experiences honestly and candidly. However these are my personal experiences. 

Going into this with a Groupon Discount, I still felt that this haunted attraction was too costly for such a brief visit. sIt really was a short excursion into the dark side of the Devil’s Attic. They did have some terrific themes going on within the attraction. Unfortunately, I don’t feel as though they did enough with them. Their characters were well dressed and make-up was decent, some even fantastic. And yet, I felt it all lacked something significant. There were some that got real close and personal-like all up in my face. And I LIKED THAT! I want that. I want you to scare me, but don’t hit me. Not with your body and not with your props.  I didn’t get hurt or anything…though I did have to rub at the pain a little on my arm. It wasn’t big enough to make a fuss about and I do believe it was on accident so I didn’t go further with it. Just be warned, there are some that do get ‘lost’ in the chaos of the scare and you may get touched.

7th Street Haunt Review: by Michala Tyann

REVIEW BY: MICHALA TYANN

Disclaimer: I personally do not enjoy giving negative reviews. I believe there is always a little of good in anything, even from a negative experience. I always share my experiences honestly and candidly. However these are my personal experiences. 

Last year our Danger Run experience took us to the SeventhStreet Haunt. (This year they are separate.) Initially, the line was not very long; we did get there pretty late however. We were greeted by Nana Hannah and we absolutely LOVED her.