Sunday, September 22, 2013

Haunted Review - Cobb's Haunt

We went to two haunted houses, and boy, are we flippin tired!!! But we survived (barely) and are here to tell you what we lived through!

The first haunted house Aly and I visited was Cobb's Haunt. Now, a little secret that I didn't let slip to the folks there...we had visited this haunt a couple or three years ago, and we'd sworn we wouldn't come back. We had been very disappointed last time and it was one of the few haunts on the list of places we wouldn't willingly revisit. So when we pulled up and realized where we were, we were initially hesitant, but went in with an open mind. After all, a lot of time had passed.

We were pleasantly surprised.

Now, I won't lie, I woke up with aching muscles that I had long since forgotten that I had. My hips and quads and calves have felt all day as though someone was slicing them open with razor blades. You WILL get a workout!! I swear, I'm a fluffy girl and I'm pretty sure I had a mild heart attack by the time we finally reached the end. Literally, I woke up to take the dog out this morning and rolled back over to wake the hubby up to take him out-I couldn't move. So make sure you stretch and do a quick warm-up before tackling this crazy maze, and pee before you go in!! This place is enormous (though I'm not 100% positive this is all there is to the haunt, the pic just doesn't do it justice at ALL!) and there are no port-o-potties around (but there are really nice restrooms, very clean!).

Set Design

Okay, there's two things about this set design that really stood out to me. First, it's a real friggin maze. I don't think I've ever been in anything quite like this, where no matter what way you turned, it was the wrong way. We kept coming back to the same place and it was frustrating fun, while simultaneously exhausting. It was a bit long, and for those who are good at figuring out mazes or physically fit it probably didn't seem so bad. But I'm neither, and nor is Aly, and apparently neither were the couple we'd gone into the maze with. It took hour? Or close to it. You get your money's worth for the amount of time you spend in there.

The second thing that stood out was that we got our own tour guide, so aptly nicknamed "Horny Man." Hey, he was wearing horns, and our minds have taken up a permanent residence in the gutter. Anyway, Horny Guy kept misleading us on some occasions, and making sure we didn't end up lost in the corn forever. At least...we think he was our tour guide...either that or we really caught his attention and he wanted to play...not really sure which one. But it was definitely fun. This section is 4 stars. [Aly says: I really liked this fact. Horny Man randomly disappeared, came back and had a really good sense of humor. Oh and he was barefoot. He's a cool kid. Even gave me an air high-five since the actors cannot touch you. I really liked having him around.]

Scare Factor

I cannot lie, the scare factor here was relatively low. There were a few times when the actors jumped out of the corn and startled us, and they earned a few screams from us, but altogether the haunt relies on the maze itself to induce fear. The fear of never getting out alive. And for a while, it feels very much like you won't get out. It can get frustrating and exhausting, but it's worth the effort. I wouldn't say I was really terrified, but it was enjoyable. For the Scare Factor I'd have to honestly give it 3 stars.


The actors were few and far between, aside from Horny Man. There was Jackie the Clown...I didn't like him much at all. But then again, I flippin hate clowns. He seemed to like me, one point I had my face buried in Aly's boobs trying to hide from him. Which was nothing less than awkward. There were a few others, hiding in random places within the corn, ready to startle you, and they all stayed in character. Credit is due to these actors, because despite our heckling, sarcasm, and lame jokes, they never once broke character and had the creep-me-out factor going for them. We picked up a few friends who followed us around for a while, but they vanished like magic, reappearing sometimes when we least expected it. Kudos to the actors, especially Horny Man. (Hey, we couldn't have been an easy group to deal with!) I'll give it 4 stars here!

Overall Entertainment

There were a few pluses and a few things that took away from the overall score. It was entertaining, and we had a ton of fun. But the purpose of a haunted attraction is to scare, and while this place has lots of potential, it didn't elicit many real screams from our group. It was startling when actors jumped out, but that's not really fear, it's just catching us off guard. Again, there was a time when I thought the maze was never ending and I was ready to tap out, send up smoke signals, whatever it took to be escorted out of the maze because my legs were SCREAMING and we'd been walking in circles forever. It just wasn't the fear that I was personally hoping for. It was a HUGE improvement over the last visit, and this is no longer on the list of haunts we will never revisit willingly. In fact, I am fairly certain at least one or both of us will return next year. I did have to take into consideration it is opening weekend and there may be a few kinks to work out to get everything just right, and the fact that there was a monsoon the night before so the ground was slippery and difficult to maneuver for all of us. I can't hold that against any haunt, because as much as we'd all love to have that power, nobody can deflect the wrath of Mother Nature. I was very pleased with the vast improvements and entertainment, and I feel like as the haunt season progresses, the final kinks will be worked out. Ya know, timing and such.

The last time we went, I would have scored Cobb's Haunt generously at 1.5 stars. (Sorry guys, cold hard honest truth here.) This time, however, after much deliberation, we scored it at 4 Stars. SO much improvement, and a really entertaining evening! I can't wait to see what else these guys come up with and how their haunt continues to improve and impress.

Thanks to the owners, actors, and everyone who worked hard at designing and creating this attraction, then bringing it to life despite the crap weather we've been having.

Aly's Two Cents

Other than my bestie hiding in my boobies, I was really surprised by Cobb's Haunt (nothing surprises me when it comes to Ashley).  I wasn't thrilled when we pulled up but... we are open minded people... usually.  So its a long haul down to the maze, I HIGHLY recommend stopping at their very clean restrooms for spell before starting.  And the dog is friendly.  The scariest part for us was Jackie the Clown.  Horny Man kept saying we "woke them."  I had no idea who but then Jackie the Clown appeared and Ashley is TERRIFIED of clowns. I'm not.  So it worked out well.  I got a chuckle while Ashley screamed.  For me, there was more of a "startle" factor.  I don't much care for when the actors stand in front of you and don't let you by and there's not enough room to get around them without falling in the corn or touching them but noooo you can't touch them so you have to stand there and stare at them and it gets all awkward and stuff...  I did like the random child who appeared out of no where. I'm still having nightmares about him!  Oh, and if you go with your friends, make sure to say their name REALLY LOUD.  The actors took the hint and started calling my name... totally creepy.

I think 4 stars is totally appropriate.  The women at the front are awesome and they sell their "wares" from the farm.  Its really neat.  I don't know if the tour guide is a normal part of the haunt... or if we were lucky because it wasn't that busy.  Either way, I recommend this one! They say it takes 25-45 minutes to get through... we apparently were a special case and took our sweet time! Cobb's Haunt has really improved and stepped their game up.  I must say, we were pleasantly surprised.

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