Haunted Review - Haunted Hotel by Ash

"Welcome home..."

They were the final words our ears heard before traversing the depths of a hellish nightmare filled with horrors and a panic-infused myriad of rooms at the Haunted Hotel.

Okay, so before I go any further, anyone who's been keeping up with us knows that we hit some of the same haunts every year, and the Haunted Hotel is one of them. Needless to say, we're familiar with the haunt, but for those who aren't, here's the skinny: 

• This is an EXTREME haunt. That word is not used lightly or to be some non-literal interpretation of the word (like the word literally no longer literally means literally - look it up, the English language is getting even more complicated, folks!), but it literally means it is extreme. They will touch you. They will grab you. They will push you to your limits. It's physically demanding, and I say this because not only are there stairs to climb and the occasional step up or down, but you might get pushed and pulled and there's a very real chance you'll be running for your life at least once or twice. You're gonna hear some foul language too, so parents, use your judgment on this, and if your kid is sensitive or perhaps too young to hear some things that might make a sailor blush, maybe wait a year or two before you subject them to the Haunted Hotel.
• This place is pretty scary. There is a lot of hard work and effort that goes into the haunt every year. The actors are IN YOUR FACE and the scenery might be a little much for some people to handle. I can't stress enough that this place is intense and will make you question your sanity. 

Okay, that being said, here is Ash's review of The Haunted Hotel.

For starters, the outside of the building is already made to creep you out. They have creepers out there mingling with the folks in line, randomly popping up to scare you and sometimes have a good time making you cringe. It does look like a dilapidated building that was once the home of a thriving hotel, so the outside draws you in. Once inside, though, the nightmare begins.

You are greeted by a man who calls you family and welcomes you to your new home. He wants to fix you. If these creations are what's considered being fixed, please leave me broken!!

Each room is fully decked out with what can only be a small fortune's worth of convincing props. Seriously, I have to commend owner Kevin Stich for this, I'm definitely a details kind of person, and he delivers in spades. Definitely check out the toilet, it's awesome. 

I will say, the lovely young lady with what appears to be a lead pipe or metal pole...did you LICK me?! Omigosh, like, ew! I mean, if not, that's cool too, but you are a pretty adventurous person to be licking people, lol! I was genuinely concerned.

The swamp was a lovely addition, as were a lot of the other changes. The combination of lights and smoke/fog were on point, genuinely disorienting us and building that panic of OMG, what's gonna happen next!

There was a lot of focus on the BOO factor, but it was used well in conjunction with gruesome scenes and high-quality actors. They have this odd way of making you feel like your life is actually in danger. I love it. Many kudos to these guys and gals killing it night after night and never letting us down.

Oh, and by the way, great job building suspense. There was just enough down time for you to let your guard down before a new wave of terror took over. 

One last thing, the chainsaw guys. Okay, so, I will admit that walking into this, I kinda had the idea of where they were, and I wasn't really afraid. Mostly. But that's because Kay and Jennifer were terrified, and I almost fell over laughing at them. The chainsaw guys were hardcore killing it on Kay and Jennifer, and it was pure haunted house gold. I couldn't breathe from laughing so hard. 

All in all, it was yet another exquisite performance and job well done by the Haunted Hotel and the cast and crew that made it happen. Five Stars, folks, well done!!