Haunted Hotel Review by Michala

Haunted Hotel Review by Michala Tyann

So this haunt was by far my most favorite last year. It scared the bejeebies out of me. The scenes and themes were spectacular. The makeup and costumes were first rate. The scare factor was off the charts.
Needless to say, they were going to have a hell of a job getting me to like it as much as I did last year. High expectations and all that. It's really hard to one-up yourself when you've hit a homerun.

Asylum Haunted Scream Park Review

Asylum Haunted Scream Park review by Michala

Last year the Asylum Haunted Scream Park was one of the first haunts we hit up and I had such a blast that this year I was stoked to go back. I was even texting Ash telling her to hurry up at work, lie to get out, or even tell the truth to leave early. LOL I was pretty excited. Ask her to show you her text messages...it will prove how crazy psyched I was to get there this year.
 
And that is where I left my happy place. Sigh. Where to begin? I suppose I should start at the beginning. We got there right as it was opening so the lines weren't long at all. (Last year, at times, we were waiting up to two hours to get into one of the haunts they offered.)I don't know if that was a good thing, the lines being short, or not. Perhaps it was a foreshadowing of what was to come? Maybe.

Haunted Review: Haunted Hotel (by Ash)

Okay, I have a lot to say here. So stick it out, I promise to deliver!

 

We have reviewed the Haunted Hotel for years, back when it was me and Aly and now with me and Michala. We've seen a lot of scary shit in this haunt. We've seen the good, the bad, the ugly, we've had good times, we've had bad times, and we've seen a lot happen inside Louisville's longest running haunted house, and every year there are new things to see and new fears explored. Let's breakdown what happened when we checked in...

 

Okay, so if you've even accidentally walked or driven by this haunt in late September through October, you'll see right away that this is a popular haunt and no cost is spared to make it extravagant. There's cop cars, lights flashing, a parking lot with people waving little lighted sticks at you to stop and park even if you don't want to...lol. It's a sight to behold, but when you get closer and actually stand there waiting, it can be intimidating. We KNOW (sort of) what's waiting for us on the other side of the doors. We still get bouncy with nervous anticipation because there's enough mystery and tension building up to the moment you're ushered inside the doors that you can't help but feel the jitters. Well, I can't.

 

This year the first change I noticed was the missing bellhop, and I was sad. That guy...damn. He got me every year. The new guy though had an interesting purpose and it kinda set the tone for the rest of our visit. He is more of a storyteller, being the original owner who's returned to fix what all the other employees "fucked up." Which makes you wonder...where are they, what did they fuck up, and what the hell is waiting beyond that rope you're moving and ushering us to follow you past?

 

Hell was exactly what was waiting for us. We got on the elevator - mind you, we KNOW what's coming. We've played this game before. The door closes and without even hesitating I grab Michala's arm and we hold each other in fearful anticipation of what's gonna happen next. Well, Gustav's incredible acrobatics showed that we can't be prepared for his world. Then his velociraptor-like wail...omigosh, I think I can still hear it! How that guy still has a voice left is beyond me!

Haunted Review: Nightmare Forest (by Ash)

Sorry for the delays in getting reviews up, this girl fell ill then started battling migraines. Still fighting, but I refuse to let another day pass with no reviews! So please excuse any typos or derailed trains of thought.

 

We ended up visiting Nightmare Forest...recently, lol. It was thankfully a well-marked entrance and a creepy road to drive down at night. That set the mood already. We parked and made our way to the ticket booth then through the corn field. I thought that was a nice touch, because it just keeps you in the mood as you meander your way to the line. Upon exiting the corn there was a traveling freak show complete with a couple of tents for stuff to look at. Honestly, we didn't stop, we were on a mission to be scared and we wanted to git r done.

Haunted Review: The Devil's Attic - By Ash

Every so often you come across a haunt that really chills you to the bone, eliciting nightmares for weeks on end - one that makes you not only question reality, but to question your own sanity.

This was not that experience.

Let's just start from the beginning. It was a rainy night, and the line was thankfully covered. The owner graciously upgraded our tickets to speed passes to allow us to bypass the line, which while it earned us a few nasty glares, it was incredibly appreciated considering the weather! We met with the owner and he even let us take a pic with him and his pet rat.

Okay, so we go inside, and having been there before I'm already expecting the first surprise as we approach the Devil, so I lead the way and then stand off to the side waiting for the "boo" moment. Okay, so the Devil? He was an ass. I mean, not that I expect the real Devil would be kindhearted and sweet or anything, but this guy asked me what I was doing hurrying into the room and then told me to go to the back of the line. Um. No. I paid for my ticket, I wanna get scared, I'm not going anywhere. So when I refused and kinda laughed at his efforts, he beckons these two little kids (and I mean, like, the oldest had to be no older than 8) and their family forward, thus putting the three of us in the back anyway. What the hell? I don't look for preferential treatment, but I expect to be scared and I expect to get my money's worth. I don't expect to be told where I get to be in the group, this isn't grade school and if I got there first, I deserve to be in the front.

Haunted Review: Danger Run - By Ash ***SPOILER ALERT!!***

****SPOILER ALERT**** ****SPOILER ALERT**** ****SPOILER ALERT****

In order to give good honest feedback, some details of Danger Run and it's haunts will be disclosed. No, we will not tell you the names or locations of the haunts. Not even if you beg. Not even if threatened. (Actually, we're kinda freaky, we might like that...)

Okay, so we visited the infamous Danger Run again this year, and the expectations have never been higher. Partially because we've been doing this a while so we like to think we're getting good at the clues. (We're not.) Partially because the price went up this year, and while we understand inflation, that only made us expect more. Partially because Danger Run had two of their OWN haunted houses that are exclusive to Danger Runners, plus a third public haunt that is pretty widely known. (Nope, still not saying which one!) 

Baxter Avenue Morgue Review

Baxter Avenue Morgue Review by Michala Tyann

Upon arriving to this haunt, the rain was finally letting up. Lucky us! We got in the very short line-like six people only. We were already a little concerned because there were no outside entertainers. All we saw was, behind us in the dark alley, five or six people standing around. We wondered if it was possibly some actors on a break maybe. Finally we got our first entertainer. A short, thin guy who acted like he had severe mental problems. He wasn’t really suited up to look scary but his acting was kinda on point. I had to wonder if there actually was something wrong with him.

Danger Run Clue-Seeking Fun

Danger Run Review by Michala Tyann

This review does not include the haunts along Danger Run. It simply is me rating my experience with Danger Run, the clue seeking thrill ride.

I will not disclose any locations. I do however, with my other reviews give some themes just because I know that Danger Run offers different routes.

I went into this evening knowing there were a few complaints on the previous nights. Those in charge over Danger Run listened and altered some things to make improvements. I don’t know what those complaints were but I will say, I personally believe that Danger Run proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that they hear us when we tell them our thoughts.

Haunted Review - 7th Street Haunt: Ft. Harmony's Revenge (by Ash)

Ha! Two in a row before anyone else's reviews go live! I'm on a roll!!

Okay, so before I jump into part two of the review for 7th Street, there was a brief interlude where they were offering casket rides for $5. Being the brave person I am - STOP LAUGHING!! - I decided to give it a whirl. Well. The casket is narrow and I'm not, so I now know what a corndog feels like. Then they were having mechanical issues. I couldn't help but laugh, mostly because that's how my luck goes. So while I waited there for them to get the thing to work, Kay grabbed my phone and took some very unflattering pics that I simply had to share.

Okay, so they got it to start and soon enough realized I had no audio so I didn't get the full experience, but I walked away with one very valuable piece of knowledge I never knew I didn't want to know. Rotting flesh smells putrid and I was nearly gagging for fresh air by the time they opened the lid for me. Come to find out they pump scents into the coffin. Very clever! Gross, but clever.

Haunted Review - 7th Street Haunt: The Experiment (By Ash)

HA! I beat the other reviewers to getting up the first Haunted Review of the season! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

Okay, so the very first stop of the season was 7th Street Haunt. Now, if you've been following the blog religiously (like you SHOULD be!) you'd know we started reviewing this haunt the year they first opened their doors in 2012. Since then, we've watched this haunt grow and expand to the point that this year, they have not just one but TWO haunts. So suffice it to say we are going to keep going every year until they kick us out and tell us not to come back while waving restraining orders in our faces.