#American Horrorplex: Round one (non-invasive)

Review by Kayla

Stars: 5/5


So American Horrorplex is a new haunt in Louisville and Ash and I were eager to visit it.

The night was clear and the weather great. The line was long but not too long. The staff were very friendly and offered candy and entertainment while we waited. The characters around us while waiting in line were certainly amusing and engaging. 47 and Doctor Heart were just a couple of those that kept our attention. 47 was very friendly and will let you close to him. Though be mindful when he tries to share with you! I wouldn’t recommend sampling what he has to offer. For all we knew it could have been rat poison.

We met up with a pair of great peeps who after getting to know them in the line, we decided to pair up with them for the first go-through. After being locked in a cage, we were given instructions and rules (no touchy-touchy since there is no cure for whatever has afflicted those within.) As we enter the haunt, we are greeted automatically with some very interesting characters. And some of those will make you jump and scream! The set was realistic and the acting was intense! Don’t trip over the spooks as you delve deeper into the darkness. Don’t let them have your body parts! And they don’t care what body parts you would offer either! Already, I’ve heard so many obscenities from our friends and screams from within our group that I’m laughing my ass off because it’s so damn scary.

The scare factors are endless and I had hardly no chances to catch my breath in between screams and jumps. Someone just find the damn kitty so I quit getting chased because I think I’m gonna die. Don’t feed them no matter how much they ask! Oh, and they want to take you to church but this scene is one you don’t want to feel so blessed in. The characters rocked our socks off. And the many times we got lost and all the doors. Oh dear lord, all the doors!!! What’s behind them! No. I take that back! I don’t want to know! Nooo!!!! We’re lost again! And there we go again…screaming for our lives! What is that smell???? Death? Nope. Well, maybe a little.

Don’t get on Officer Daniel’s bad side. I’d recommend you listen to her! Right. Right! Do you dare do as she tells you? You’ll have no choice. Great…an escaped monster is lurking in the dark and we’ve got to go in that direction. Oh shit! They got me again! I keep screaming…it’s so damn scary. Dr. Brackon will explain the details for the next few scenes and he’s very smart and Dr. Frankenstein-ish. What creations lurk ahead of us? God only knows!!! I know I sure don’t want to. We’re forced ahead like cattle and what befalls us, you don’t want to know. Do you have any phobias? If you do, you don’t want to move on. Except you must if you want to get out alive. And just when you think it’s over….more deep dark fears are ready to make you piss your pants! More screaming. More obscenities. I swear if you don’t normally curse…be prepared to say your prayers afterward because cursing like a sailor to combat your intense fears may just make you feel a little better after all the frights that come at you.

The actors scream, scare, and don’t always leave when you move on to the next set. Yep…they like to follow you! And that shit is terrifying. But we made it out with our lives intact. Don’t think it was easy! With dentists that you don’t want to open your mouth for, padded walls that make you itch get escape, electric worries, blood, poo, psychopaths, and tricky floors, you’ll need all your might if you are to make it to the end.


The cast was definitely on top of their game. There weren’t many dead spots so it’s hard to catch your breath in between all the screaming. They were convincing in their scenes and extremely interactive. The creativity behind each scene was detailed and amazing. And the variety was so wide that anyone that enters will find something to be startled and scared by. Their costumes were totally and ridiculously astounding. A good mixture of masks and makeup that were always appropriate for each set we entered. The atmosphere both before we entered the haunt and within were interesting and entertaining. The special effects were just enough. The characters were most interactive and their acting was so on spot that what special effects that were used allowed the hauntees to focus on getting the most out of the story of the scenes and the scares to be had. The theme was carried throughout very well and authenticity was maximized. This haunt had more scare factor than most of the haunts I’ve attended. Predictability was minimal, which is always a plus. I was satisfied 100% with this haunt and I truly didn’t have a negative thing to say about it. I didn’t think it could get better. Yet, it does. When you opt for the invasive haunt. Which we did. Reviews for the invasive haunt coming soon!

Haunted Review: Haunted Hotel (by Ash)

Okay, I have a lot to say here. So stick it out, I promise to deliver!

 

We have reviewed the Haunted Hotel for years, back when it was me and Aly and now with me and Michala. We've seen a lot of scary shit in this haunt. We've seen the good, the bad, the ugly, we've had good times, we've had bad times, and we've seen a lot happen inside Louisville's longest running haunted house, and every year there are new things to see and new fears explored. Let's breakdown what happened when we checked in...

 

Okay, so if you've even accidentally walked or driven by this haunt in late September through October, you'll see right away that this is a popular haunt and no cost is spared to make it extravagant. There's cop cars, lights flashing, a parking lot with people waving little lighted sticks at you to stop and park even if you don't want to...lol. It's a sight to behold, but when you get closer and actually stand there waiting, it can be intimidating. We KNOW (sort of) what's waiting for us on the other side of the doors. We still get bouncy with nervous anticipation because there's enough mystery and tension building up to the moment you're ushered inside the doors that you can't help but feel the jitters. Well, I can't.

 

This year the first change I noticed was the missing bellhop, and I was sad. That guy...damn. He got me every year. The new guy though had an interesting purpose and it kinda set the tone for the rest of our visit. He is more of a storyteller, being the original owner who's returned to fix what all the other employees "fucked up." Which makes you wonder...where are they, what did they fuck up, and what the hell is waiting beyond that rope you're moving and ushering us to follow you past?

 

Hell was exactly what was waiting for us. We got on the elevator - mind you, we KNOW what's coming. We've played this game before. The door closes and without even hesitating I grab Michala's arm and we hold each other in fearful anticipation of what's gonna happen next. Well, Gustav's incredible acrobatics showed that we can't be prepared for his world. Then his velociraptor-like wail...omigosh, I think I can still hear it! How that guy still has a voice left is beyond me!

Haunted Review: Nightmare Forest (by Ash)

Sorry for the delays in getting reviews up, this girl fell ill then started battling migraines. Still fighting, but I refuse to let another day pass with no reviews! So please excuse any typos or derailed trains of thought.

 

We ended up visiting Nightmare Forest...recently, lol. It was thankfully a well-marked entrance and a creepy road to drive down at night. That set the mood already. We parked and made our way to the ticket booth then through the corn field. I thought that was a nice touch, because it just keeps you in the mood as you meander your way to the line. Upon exiting the corn there was a traveling freak show complete with a couple of tents for stuff to look at. Honestly, we didn't stop, we were on a mission to be scared and we wanted to git r done.

Haunted Review: The Devil's Attic - By Ash

Every so often you come across a haunt that really chills you to the bone, eliciting nightmares for weeks on end - one that makes you not only question reality, but to question your own sanity.

This was not that experience.

Let's just start from the beginning. It was a rainy night, and the line was thankfully covered. The owner graciously upgraded our tickets to speed passes to allow us to bypass the line, which while it earned us a few nasty glares, it was incredibly appreciated considering the weather! We met with the owner and he even let us take a pic with him and his pet rat.

Okay, so we go inside, and having been there before I'm already expecting the first surprise as we approach the Devil, so I lead the way and then stand off to the side waiting for the "boo" moment. Okay, so the Devil? He was an ass. I mean, not that I expect the real Devil would be kindhearted and sweet or anything, but this guy asked me what I was doing hurrying into the room and then told me to go to the back of the line. Um. No. I paid for my ticket, I wanna get scared, I'm not going anywhere. So when I refused and kinda laughed at his efforts, he beckons these two little kids (and I mean, like, the oldest had to be no older than 8) and their family forward, thus putting the three of us in the back anyway. What the hell? I don't look for preferential treatment, but I expect to be scared and I expect to get my money's worth. I don't expect to be told where I get to be in the group, this isn't grade school and if I got there first, I deserve to be in the front.

Haunted Review: Danger Run - By Ash ***SPOILER ALERT!!***

****SPOILER ALERT**** ****SPOILER ALERT**** ****SPOILER ALERT****

In order to give good honest feedback, some details of Danger Run and it's haunts will be disclosed. No, we will not tell you the names or locations of the haunts. Not even if you beg. Not even if threatened. (Actually, we're kinda freaky, we might like that...)

Okay, so we visited the infamous Danger Run again this year, and the expectations have never been higher. Partially because we've been doing this a while so we like to think we're getting good at the clues. (We're not.) Partially because the price went up this year, and while we understand inflation, that only made us expect more. Partially because Danger Run had two of their OWN haunted houses that are exclusive to Danger Runners, plus a third public haunt that is pretty widely known. (Nope, still not saying which one!) 

Haunted Review - 7th Street Haunt

Okay, it's no big secret that I'm a fan of this haunt. This being only their second year in operation, they are back and quickly becoming one of the most talked about haunts in the area. Well, at least in the circles I run in, but I'm willing to bet it's pretty popular with the normal folks of the world too.

I was able to meet with Travis Boling, owner of the haunt and nightmare expert. We had a lot of fun and he let me in on a few secrets planned for next year that no doubt with bring this haunt to even higher levels of terror. A lot of focus this year was on building the haunt out, and now that they have the layout and design in place, next comes more props and perhaps an exterior facelift? The work that's gone into the haunt so far has really been such a drastic change that I didn't even recognize it! Travis admitted they only took a couple of weeks off at the end of last year's haunting season before beginning the tedious work that goes into remodeling and rebuilding the nightmares. This, my friends, is a haunt that has no limits and moving at warp speed to become one of the most loved and feared haunts in Louisville. We had so much fun, I only wish I'd woken with a voice and without a sore throat. Or the alcohol-free hangover from too much fun.

So without further ado...



Ashley's Take


The Set Design

Okay, this is the first haunt where I've actually had to stop and run my fingers over the walls and the decorations (kids, don't try this, I was soon attacked by the walls and it's STRONGLY warned that you don't touch the walls or the actors or anything else! Don't make him press the red button!!) The only downfall here was the video in the beginning. Both Aly and I are hard of hearing, and we had no clue what was happening in the video. Then again, it was loud with other haunted house sounds all around us and turning it up much louder probably would have been distracting to other parts of the haunt. Still, it wasn't a major distraction, we just told the soldier we couldn't hear it and he explained it. I have a feeling we missed out on the plot of the dangerous zone we were about to walk into, but I don't feel like I missed out on much. Everything was meticulously done up and the detail to each room and scene was intricate. The rooms and scenes had a great flow and transition, too, making everything very cohesive and connected. I really dig the design and props this year.


The Props

There were a lot of props in this year's design, and even though owner Travis revealed that next year was going to be a big addition to the props department, I still thought the props this year were very cool. From the lovely dinner table to the exquisite


The Actors

Oh, the actors. These guys got me. The actors are statuesque and completely immobile until they're ready to scare you, and when they do, even if they don't do the "BOO" factor, they are pretty darn scary. A lot of these actors blended into the walls and scenes so well that you didn't know they were there or thought they were props because they were excellent at their job. I have to give massive props to the clown that almost put me into the hospital with a heart attack. I actually threw myself into a corner and screamed my head off. Loudly. And repeatedly. While my "best friend" and family laughed at me. Kudos to the hideously terrifying clown, and thanks SO much for the dreams from last night.


The Scare Factor

Although it did rely heavily on the shock factor, this haunt had a good deal of piss-your-pants fear. (Case in point-the clown.) Sure, a lot of times these actors were stationary and popped out at you, but it wasn't just the fact that they popped out to scare you, it's that they were friggin horrifying. Some of the sounds they made too...they didn't have to pop out and scare you at 7th Street. They just have to sit there and make an unnatural noise that makes your blood run cold. Plus, they built the anticipation of not knowing what was coming and not bombarding you with nonstop BOOs. It was both refreshing and nightmare-inducing. Literally.


The Shock Factor

I've already mentioned it a couple of times, but I have to really say it again, these guys had great timing and were unpredictable. We didn't know which ones were props, which were real people, which were moving, or which were stationary. It kept us guessing and wondering what the hell was coming next. Wonderful mixture of shock and fear.


The Originality

This is one of the very few truly original plots in Louisville, basing the whole haunt on the idea of this long-since forgotten town of Fort Harmony, KY, and the horrific events that took place there. Now, here's where I feel we lost a little because we didn't get the history or background from the video, but it wasn't hard to deduce what happened to Ft. Harmony, for the most part. While we don't know how it happened, the combination of the medical aspect and undead aspect is really truly phenomenal.


Other Factors to Consider

This haunt may only be in its second year, but the genius behind it and powering it are seasoned experts, bringing you to the brink of insanity and terror, and they only keep getting better. The difference between 2012 and 2013 is comparable to the difference between a fruit fly and a Wooly Mammoth. Really, wtf?? It's not the same in any way, except to be terrifying. I'm genuinely impressed with the progress made and was promised next year is going to be even better. I can't wait. (Is it opening weekend 2014 yet??)


Overall Entertainment

Man, just from the moment you get your tickets to the moment you come flying out of the door, there was nonstop enjoyment. You get to look stupid and take a funny picture with props when you get inside, then you get to meet the Mayor, who gives you a little intro and tells you a story before sending you in to meet the army guy. From there, it's a bajillion screams and a lot of fun all the way to the end. All in all, I'd give this haunt a 4.5 Star rating. It's really just been a screaming good time, and we'll definitely be coming back for more!



Now, for Aly's feedback...



Aly's Two Cents